Rabbit Rabbit. Ramen Ramen.

Dec. 1st!!
Nothing fancy, just:

Spicy Beef Ramen
1 package curly noodles (you could even use ramen from the cheap ramen soup packs but these have a bit more of the extra fat in them)
1 Tbspn sesame oil (or any vegetable oil will work)
1 tsp oil
1/2 lb beef cut into strips
1/2 medium onion cut into strips
3 carrots sliced into strips
3 cloves garlic minced
1/2 inch of ginger root grated
1 1/2 cup of water or broth
1 tbspn corn starch
1 Tbspn soy sauce
1 Tbspn mirin
1 teaspoon sugar or honey
1 Tbspn Korean red pepper paste (called Gochuchang, if you don't have this, the dish comes out not spicy and while it's not bad, it lacks the spicy, vinegar-y taste)

optional- napa cabbage, mushrooms, water chestnuts, bean sprouts, basically any vegetable

Now for the Cooking.
a1. mix 1 cup broth with 1 TBspn corn starch, soy sauce, mirin and sugar and set aside
b1. cook noodles according to directions, rinse them and set aside
1. Heat 1 tbspn oil in a large pan until it's quite hot (but not smoking or burning)
2. Stir fry beef until browned, remove from pan and set aside
LOWER HEAT to medium-high
3. stir fry vegetables
4. add garlic & ginger and stir around for 30 seconds
5. add red pepper paste and stir around for 30 seconds (be careful not to burn the paste, it tastes bitter if you do)
6. add beef and any accumulated juices
7. pour the broth mix over everything and stir around, turn heat to low and let sit
8. in a separate pan heat 1 tsp of oil and fry the noodles until you're happy with them
9. serve noodles/veggie mix separately OR dump sauce veggies and meat over noodles and stir around then serve
10. EAT ZEM ALL

Great Expectations of Parsnips

The first time I read Great Expectations was in 6th grade. I had a pink paper notebook dedicated for this book. And I'm pretty sure I insisted on using it even though the teacher asked me to get a normal white page notebook. Ugh, could you imagine having to decipher kid handwriting on pink paper? I probably used a green pen. The Father was called in to meetings at that school quite a bit. I wonder if she ever did this project with her other classes... In any case, I've read this book every couple of years since then and I'm glad that I have. It's a very good reminder of how asinine a person can be when they're young.
Oh Dickens, you were so good with making realistic characters.
Even if you took 4 pages to describe a chair...

Have you ever tried a parsnip? Think somewhat carroty flavor only white flesh. I likes them roasted.

Easy Roasted Vegetables
serves 2 smallish portions
1 parsnip
1 carrot
2 small potatoes
1/2 small onion
1 TBspn olive oil
1/2 tsp salt (you can use less or omit if you desire)
pepper to taste
3 cloves of garlic (or 1/4 tsp garlic powder)

1. Pre-heat oven to 400F
2. wash and peel the veg
3. cut veg into large chunks (if using fresh garlic, smash the cloves with the flat of a knife blade and remove paper skin)
4. toss veg with oil and spices
5. bake at 400F for about 30 mins or until tender

Manicotti, I see your face in every flower

This has been my favorite song since I was hmmmm 14? 15? something like that http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPJuFxl0bxY
It was the song me and the mister danced to at our wedding. I'm listening to her stuff right now and this song made me choke up.
What a sap.
ANYWAY

A strange yet, somewhat personal fact - I don't really like melted cheese. No cheese fondue, nacho sauce or really any kind of cheese sauce. I think it may be the smell but then again it may be just because it's disgusting. As a kid, pizza was always deconstructed* into it's respective bits and only then all was eaten. Bread w/ sauce, then if the cheese had sufficiently hardened I'd eat that or if not, I'd eat some of toppings...

That being said, here's a recipe for easy manicotti (why is manioc in the spellcheck but not manicotti?)

makes about 6

Ingredients
8 manicotti shells
2 cups tomato sauce (of your making or choosing, I choose because I'm lazy)
1/2 lb ground sausage (may be omitted but it's just so good)
1/2 shredded cheeses (I used blend of parmesean, asiago and mozzerella
1/2 cup shredded mozzerella (used to top stuffed noodles)
1 cup ricotta or marscapone cheese (I use half a small tub of ricotta about 8 oz)
2 cloves garlic
1/4 tsp of pepper
1/4 tsp salt
dash cayenne** (optional)

Pre-heat oven to 350F
1. Boil pasta shells according to the directions (should be slightly undercooked for this dish) I used Barilla manicotti shells and boiled them for 7 minutes (Did 2 of your shells split? I always lose 2 out of 8...)
2. GENTLY rinse noodles with cold water and set aside to cool
3. brown sausage (break into small crumbles)and garlic on stovetop, drain any accumulated fat
4. make filling - mix ricotta, sausage & garlic, pepper, salt and 1/2 cup mixed shredded cheese
5. Put 1/2 cup of tomato sauce on bottom of small baking pan (I used 8x8, 2" deep non-stick pan)
6. stuff cheese mix into noodles as best you can without splitting them (using a pastry bag makes this very easy)and place stuffed noodles on top of sauce
7. Pour remaining tomato sauce over all of the stuffed manicotti
8. top with mozzerella
9. Bake at 350F for about 35 mins
10. have at it... but do not burn your mouth portal on the melted cow lactate***

NOTE: if you switch the manicotti forms for giant shells or even lasagne it pretty much works the same and it's easier to stuff shells or layer lasagne


* but ONLY when at home, Nuns wouldn't stand for that business
** I really do put this shit in everything
***WECOMEFROMFRANCE

Apple Dessert stuff time!

Apples + sugar + cinnamon = Best Autumn Desserts

Lately I've been able to give happy surprises to my friends... a luchador mask here, a crocheted viking helmet there, it's made my fall very comfortable. I hope yours was/is/ will be as well.


Apple and Oat brown betty

Filling
6 cups chopped apple (I used about 4 medium sized Gala apples)
2 Tbspns sugar
1 tsp lemon juice (optional)
1 cup oats
1 tsp cinnamon
dash ginger powder
dash salt

Topping
1/4 cup butter (4 Tbspns)
1/2 cup brown sugar
3/4 cup flour
1/2 tsp cinnamon
dash salt

1. Pre-heat oven to 375F
1. Grease a deep dish pan (I used 8x8 2" deep square pan)
2. mix all the filling ingredients together and dump into pan
3. Mix flour, brown sugar, cinnamon and salt together
4. mash butter into flour mix until it resembles breadcrumbs (or the butter is small bits all throughout)
5. Spread topping evenly over the entire pan
6. Bake at 375 for 45-55 minutes (or until apples reach moosh stage
7. Serve with ice cream or whipped cream

Celebrate Octoburrrr with Korean Fried Chicken

I donated all my sweaters last year.
Ok, that's an exaggeration, I donated all but 2 of my sweaters last year. Sure sure, I don't NEED many sweaters but I don't find the 2 I saved to be all that comfy. Why did I get rid of the comfy ones? Wait a minute... did Mister throw them in the bag? Hmmm
I'm going to try Maangchi's recipe for fried chicken, actually, not sure if I'm going to make the spicy or the sweet. Check out her blog/video series, it is adorable and very informative. Not to mention everything looks so tasty:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0smDhdzqXu8
So, there's your recipe for today.
CHEATER! THIEF!
Yes, yes I am. Not feeling so hot today, I think I have a lack of caffeine headache. It will NOT go away. I'll let you know how the chicken turns out when I make it. In the meantime- stay head ache free :)

Clip your string and give me chicken

Today is Monday. I have no opinion of Mondays other than I hate most small work talk that involves the word. I hate it yet feel compelled to use this as a conversational topic with the random hall passing convo's at work.
Look Ma, I'm blending socially!
I don't talk much, in fact, I very rarely start conversations with people I haven't known for 3 years or more. It's not that I don't like them, I like them fine, guess I don't have much to say. Unless of course I drink coffee or alcohol. Then you can't shut me up. I have to mentally reprimand myself to put a cork in it, no one gives a shit.
And on that note:
I don't know if I've ever posted roasted chicken... well, this may be a repeat but you'll forgive me, right? RIGHT?? Roasted chicken looks impressive and can be unbelievably easy

here it is:
Ingredients
1, 3 or 4 lb chicken
1 tbspn kosher salt
1 tsp black pepper
1 tsp garlic powder (OR 3 cloves fresh garlic squished through a press but you have to put the fresh under the skin or it burns and tastes weird)

1. pre-heat oven to 400F
2. hunt around for a pan big enough to hold the cheekin
3. rinse der chicken*
4. pat chicken dry
5. sprinkle spices over chicken
6. stick chicken in oven for 1 hour
7. check temp to see if it's cooked all the way (or cut it and see if it's still pink)
8. take chicken out of oven
9. lie to husband** and tell him NO. dinner is not done, it will be done in 15 mins.
10. let chicken rest for 15 mins before carving
11. NOW it's ok to tell him dinner's done

and now it's time for me to go eat lunch
LUNCH!

*said in Swedish Chef voice
** it's still weird saying husband

Cinnamon Creepies

My hands are dry.
We got a new video game "Dead Island", you wander around slaying zombie-like creatures with random weapons or your fists and find stuff, fulfill missions. It's sort of like the grand theft auto games. Only with creepy deaders that run at you and scream. I'm really not sure what I was thinking when I said to Mister DPO, "suuuurrreee get it! Looks like fun, I won't have nightmares". What a liar.
In any case, I'm addicted to it and now when I walk around the world I picture everyone as zombies - it ain't pretty. Can you imagine how horrid the world would smell if there WERE zombies? ECH.
Cut my hair short-ish, I now look like the unkempt 10 year boys of the world. Shaggy is a good word. It's cute when I do stuff to it but who can bother with that everyday? I can barely remember underwear everyday.
Read Madame Tussaud which was a good historical fiction type book, the author wrote a bunch of other types of books like one about Cleopatra's kids that I listened to, they're not high Lit, but are entertaining none the less and the history seems to be pretty sound. Am now reading to a Harry Turtledove book, the jury's still out, I'm engrossed in it but I don't know if I like it yet.

Cinnamon Crepes
Ingredients
(makes 2 large crepes)
1 egg
1 Tbspn + 1 tsp flour
1 tsp milk
1/4 tsp cinnamon
pinch salt
pinch sugar

1. beat all ingredients together to make a very thin batter (you may need more or less flour)
2. heat a large fry pan on medium heat with 1 tsp oil (or spray the bottom w/ oil)
3. tricky part- as you pour in 1/2 of the batter swirl the pan around to make a thin coating over as much of the pan as possible
4. leave it alone for about 45 seconds to 1 minute or until edges begin to dry out and center gets somewhat dry
5. flip crepe and cook until golden
6. remove from pan, repeat with 2nd 1/2 of batter
7. fill w/ whatever*, roll up and eat


*Why not some of that left over cream cheese frosting? You have a TON of it... stupid bundt pan

Frosting de Fromage

and so... September's here and stuff.

Me and Mister are going to drive to Montreal for Christmas. We decided we need to experience serious cold and snow again. We've purchased a couple maps and I get a new coat!* :)
Now to figure out how to say in French: "Excuse me, have you seen my husband? He's the bald one dishing out cold justice." Or something similar...

"Hai una melanzana en tuo baffo" was my junk Italian phrase I learned (which I may have wrong now, it's been a few years) "you have an eggplant in your moustache"
However we took away "succa me con gaccio" which has served us well and the curious expression of "faccio un gato" ("I make a cat") which means "I'm going to puke".

Recipe recipe recipe... hmmmm

Cream Cheese frosting
(yields a ridiculous amount)
16 oz Philadelphia cream cheese (2, 8 oz bricks)
1 stick of butter
2 cups powdered sugar
1 tsp vanilla
1/4 tsp orange extract (optional)
pinch salt (optional)

1. Leave the cheese and butter on your counter and go fold laundry
2. Holler at husband for putting butter and cheese back in the fridge. (Really, hollering is somewhat uncalled for, you forgetting to put stuff in the fridge or putting random items in the freezer is an everyday occurrence in your household.)
3. Take butter and cheese out of fridge and put BACK on counter to soften.... watch a movie
4. And now we begin.
5. Put butter, cream cheese, extracts and salt into a large mixing bowl
6. Mix until combined
7. Gradually add powdered sugar 1/4 to 1/2 cup at a time, mix until incorporated
8. Taste it, add more sugar TBspn by TBspn until you get the desired sweetness

DONE - you may now frost whatevs you want

and you can keep it in the fridge for 3 or so days or freeze for a month... please note, if your stored frosting business makes you sick, ain't my fault. Use the not so common sense.

*I live in the dirty south, what do I need a coat for? Oh right, power failures during the ice storms, of course that's what the charcoal grill is for, heat and monoxide poisoning. Hallelujah!! *shiver*

Pull my finger, I MEAN PORK. Wait, that's no better

Hurricane-ular update:
Me and Mister are good, no flooding in our area, just wind and rain with a couple power flickers. I think the tornadoes and wind storms of April- June knocked down all the weak trees and limbs so no major damage.

All parental units of the DPO duo are currently without power and will most likely not get any power for at least another 4 days. BUT the tree voted most likely to fall did so not on the M Units' house but on the well house. Soooo thankfully this means just a wee cleanup with no real damage and not major house repair. However, we feel for them - no power sucks but no electricity to power the well pump means no water and that sucks WAY more. :(

The D and R Units are doing well, they have no power but water is a go.

And finally, holy crap, poor Vermont. I saw footage of a covered bridge getting washed away and that's really a tragedy... they're so cool.

From now on, I'm going to try to keep the pottery business out of this blog so I started another one (like I need another blog... good gravy). It's called "Oldsin's Claytastrophes".

Here's a recipe for the easiest "pulled pork" ever:
(I don't know why that's in quotes)

Ingredients
1, 3-5lb pork loin
1/2 cup bbq sauce

1. wash loin and pat dry
2. brown loin on all size on high heat
3. stick pork and bbq sauce in the crockpot for 6 hours (or if you forget to start this 6 hours before you eat, set it for 4 hours)
4. when you can stick a fork in the meat and it falls apart, it's done
5. Remove the pork from the crockpot and set aside.
6. Reserve 2 Tbspns of the liquid that accumulates in the crock pot*, drain the rest
7. using 2 forks, pull the pork apart into bite sized pieces
8. drizzle 2 tbspns reserved liquids over the pork bits
9. apply your preferred bbq type sauce or leave plain, either way is porktacular**


*Yes, I know it's fat. I just tell myself it's the delightful essence of pig.
** I like the ending -cular today.

honey glazed carrots in your FACE

Please, indulge me for a moment as I reflect...

Well, part of the DPO family will be relocating back to the North to the waters of origination. While the original DPO, me, is saddened by not being able to directly corrupt the Nevvie and new-ish Niecie, I AM superstoked for the Sister and hopeful for my maritime brother, the DPM. Also excited for my parental units, it's been forever since their kids abandoned them and moved away from home. So now my sister's sailing back and bringing some kids with her and they're always fun.
So...
I will miss pizza picnic.
I will miss "HEY MIMI! wanna see the birthmark on my bum?"
I will miss the "smile smile coo BLARP!" of my niece barfing on my shirt. (although she doesn't seem to do that as much anymore)
I will miss my sister's face.*
I will miss sharing a beer with the DPM.

But this gives me 4 more reasons to visit home, more ammo for me to make fun of my sister when she's ass-deep in snow and it's 60 degrees here and let's be honest, that's never a bad thing.

In other news, Mr. DPO's book is nearing publication it's estimated end of October to be available in print and e-pub. This will be HUGE for him and hopefully peeps will ask for more writin's. Would be awesome if he could transition to full time writer as a career.

I'm still doing clay stuff (as always) here's a couple from the latest crop: I call them jarbots (TM).

Once this set is complete and I get my caboose in gear, these will be for sale in my etsy shop. I shall post a link when that happens.
I'm sort of obsessed with pottery making... my day really isn't complete until I get muddy. 'Spose I could be obsessed with worse, say crack or 'Big Brother'.




Honey glazed carrots
Ingredients
for 2 smallish servings or 1 large serving
2 carrots - peeled and sliced on the diagonal all about the same thickness
1 TBspn honey
1 tsp lemon juice (or orange juice, something acidic)
dash cayenne pepper
pinch salt (optional)
3 Tbspns water

1. place carrots, pinch of salt and 3 TBspns water into a lidded pan. Turn heat to medium, cover the pan and let steam until carrots are cooked through** (if the water evaporates before carrots are cooked, add 1 Tbspn at a time until they're done)
2. uncover the pan stir carrots around while letting any accumulated water cook off
3. drizzle the honey over carrots, add 1 tsp of lemon juice, dash of cayenne and stir around until carrots are glazed

DONE



*and her humour, our mile a minute chats, being mistaken for twins, her kindness, our giggle-fests annnnnnd now I'm tearing up- you get the point

**this means cooked until it's done how you like it

wed DING

I'm now officially wed and uh... honeymooned? It were fun. Like most people, I don't have much in the way of memories of the day but the 600 pictures help.
Here's one: (By Highly recommended photographer www.brianmullinsphotography.com )



First part of honeymoon we went to the US National White water center. We went on the ropes course and rafting. That was excellent fun. The same lady managed to give both Mr. and Mrs. DPO a shiner. She cracked me in the face with the back of her helmeted head- ditto for the mr.

2nd part we went to Mexico. Miss Ivy at the grocery store gave us the business when we first told her where we were going. Face lowered, evil eye "Why on earth are y'all going to Mexico. It's dangerous there." We'd thought about only one of us going back to the store and telling her I didn't have the ransom money for Husband and he sacrificed himself so I could go free. *sniff sniff* BUT it seemed somewhat inappropriate to worry a sweet lady for a joke. We don't know each other that well.

Quick rundown of Mexico:
I love the beach
I love the pool
I love jetski's
I love parasailing
I love riding in a taxi with a 19? year old driving 2 inches away from the car in front of us at abouuuuutttt 60mph who then tells me he has "mucho calor" and takes off his shirt narrowly avoiding smashing into 2 inch away car. Frankly, it takes "muchos cajones" to drive en Mexico. But it is kind of fun.
Did I mention I love jetski's? Cause I really do. Husband and I shared a jetski the first time we went out. He very responsibly and sedately drove us out of the harbour and down the beach and back a few times.
Then it was my turn.
While switching places, Husband felt the need to test out the lifejacket* and he fell in. My turn at the helm proved to be a test of speed and Husband's ability to cling to said jetski. I gunned it and all I saw were his two feet next to my head. Still makes me giggle. I'm such a jerk.

We had two excellent dinners. Best lamb EVAR was at Hacienda San Angel. If we can gather enough monies to ever go back to Puerto Vallarta, I want to stay there. It's pricey but soooooo worth it. The website pictures are quite accurate to what the place looks like. The doorman did look like an evil villain from a Bond flick though. He sort of creeped me out. http://www.haciendasanangel.com/

Then after all honeymoon fun, my body decided it was payback time. About a week after we got back, I had a cold... then worse... then an inability to breathe. Super fun, I'm only now pretty much recovered. I can walk to my car without stopping every 3 meters to breathe. So I've been out of commission since the end of June.

BUT I'm back nowish (still not quite fully recovered) and I've been making some jarbots. I may post pics when they're done but not yet. IT's top secret business. Yeah... that's it.
I also knocked over a tripod (who knew it could happen) and smashed the bowl I was working on. Then I threw a mini tantrum, then I recycled the clay. Meh. Reminds me of my ultimate clay crap reminder - never get attached. The things you make and love always get smashed or explode or gets shmootz stuck to the glaze.
I've been cooking same type of stuff lately... but here's an easy recipe for oven fries.

Ingredients
2 large potatoes sliced into wedges (make wedges all about the same size)
1 TBspn olive oil
1tsp salt
1/4 tsp pepper
1/4 tsp garlic powder

1. Preheat oven to 400F
2. mix spices w/ oil
3. toss tato slices in oil mix to coat
4. arrange in single layer on baking sheet
5. bake for about 30 minutes or until done (this can take up to 1 hour if your potatoes are thickly sliced.

*Ahem, I mean PFD or personal floatation device. El Govermento decided you can no longer call them lifesavers or life jackets because they don't save lives, they just make you float. Uh... thanks for the clarification?

For the love of your Lord, STOP the feathering.

I'm going to pass the next 15 minutes not in a helpful manner but a selfish one. Because I am grumpy today.

Commence train of thought writing:

How did the past 3 years go by without me noticing? I understand now why many people stop changing their hairstyles in their 20's. I don't want that to happen to me... how does one let their personal style change gracefully? I have about all the grace of a robin reliant.

Yes. I'm currently obsessed with these little cars. I want one with perhaps a wonderwoman paint motif along with a matching helmet. I shall round up criminals with my lasso of truth!

What a stupid super power. I can make you tell the truth. According to some stereotypes, any woman worth her salt can get the truth out of a man.
You know... cause she nags. GET IT??!! GET IT!!??
Misogyny.
What a hoot.

I like owls.

I also like monkeys but I'm not really a fan of the sea monkey. I could only ever get 1 or 2 to come back to life then they'd die when I'd dump all the food into the water or perhaps they caught sea monkey plague from all the dead sea monkey bodies. Did I create a sea monkey hell?? :(
Hmmm.
Well in any case, it was a dumb toy and the box was full of false information. THEY didn't eat in a little castle and wear crowns. They didn't even wear clothes.

You know what was a cool toy involving water? The plastic tank things you filled with water and had a button that shot a jet of air into the water so you could get a tiny basketball into a hoop. Or I think I had one that was a dolphin that you'd try to make jump through a hoop. I know there were usually hoops and items to go through them. Then I'd "put it away" and someone would step on it, crack the plastic, leak moldy water all over and that was that. No mas plastico shooter thing.

I looked up the word misogyny to make sure I had the correct spelling and on the webpage was an advert for "wedding invitations". I'm not sure how I feel about that.

You should all know that "going green" or anything described as "green" is a deceptive marketing ploy that caters to our need to feel better about buying shit and that if it doesn't stop I may shoot things.
ACTUALLY I will shoot things while eating mcdonald's cheeseburgers and throwing the wrappers on the ground while standing atop my oil leaking chevy suburban that gets 8 miles to the gallon* while kicking over buckets of paint and lighting piles of garbage on fire.
so there.
that does smack of performance art so maybe not

Perhaps a "going green" venture should be to make a cell phone that will withstand more than 2 years of use so millions more wouldn't "have" to be made. Orrrr maybe the US could try to create a serious recycling program. Millions of us are without jobs... Perhaps govmint is waiting until we'll be willing to work for food and healthcare. Meh.

I know I'm a part of it and this will sound hypocritical but most of the time I really dislike the consumer culture.


*no I don't actually own a suburban... they're tanks and mostly unnecessary. Now that I think about it, I've only ever seen tiny blonde women talking on their cell and driving erratically in these. Friggin' benny's.

I'm worth the bacon.

Checking in as it's been uh... 3 months since my last confession.
3 months!!?? Say 10 Hail Marys, 2 Our Fathers and 3 Glory Bes.

Homefront:
Getting married in a few weeks, 23 days to be exact. I'm puckering up just thinking about it. Not the being married part, that just gives me an excuse to make a new signature and have an alias*. It's the actual party part. The speaking in front of others part, the is my dress tucked into my tights part, the I really hope my famblies has a nice time part, the go sneer at my choices somewhere else snobs part. Let's just say I will not be drinking, whiskey dpo = mouthy dpo

Pottery:
Continuing. I bought my own pottery wheel and have successfully made 70 little cups for wedding favors. Clay makes me happy in the feelings. I've also made a bunch of other stuffs but I need to allow myself to not make "functional" items. Ready... GO!

Today I am listening to Erykah Badu, I forgot how much I like her. And how big her hair could be. Impressive to say the least.

If you're vegetarian this isn't for you:

Recipe

Sort of Ma Po Tofu (tofu with spicy sauce)

1 carton silken tofu (firm or extra firm)
1/4 lb ground pork or beef (I prefer pork)
1/2 cup chopped onion
2 tsp minced garlic
1 tsp miced ginger
1/4 tsp black pepper
1 TBspn soy sauce
1 Tbspn mirin
1 cup chicken stock
1 TBspn potato starch (or corn starch)dissolved in 1/2 cup water
1 TBspn hot red pepper paste (found in korean grocery)
1 Tbspn sesame oil

Saute stuff

1. Put 1 TBspn sesame oil into pan and brown meat
2. add onions and let cook 3 mins
3. add minced garlic and ginger stir around about 30 seconds
4. add red pepper paste and smash into pan until it sort of dissolves BE CAREFUL not to burn the paste
4. add chicken stock, soy sauce, mirin and black pepper and stir
5. add water and starch slurry, stir around and let come to slow boil (sauce will darken in color)
6. gently add tofu and gently push it around in the sauce until gently heated through. Gently.
7. Serve over rice if you wish and sprinkle with cayenne pepper if you want it to be super spicy

Please note: tofu will be approximately the same temperature as magma in the center. I am currently still healing from an extreme tofu episode.



*I'm seriously considering changing my first name at this time to Apple or perhaps even Maimy Apple. Sounds like a prohibition era cocktail.

Oh Look, cupcakes!

There is a giant Asian market near where I live, in fact it is Grand. As in, Grand Asia Market. They have allllllll kinds of stuff (ie. Duck's with heads still on, see previous post about that adventure.) and it's not expensive. Which makes me smile in the pockets.
BUT.
We have found another market that sells "frozen reconstituted steamed fish paste"* and "sea vegetables" right near the workplace!!! This one is called Shilla Oriental Market. I got a kimbap** maker so I've been eating that for breakfast the past week. Kimbap maker implies some sort of cam/lever having machinery but really it's a plastic mould you stuff rice into and squish it into a triangle. It's supremely satisfying to squish stuff into a mould. Try it, you'll be reminded of your play dough fun factory and that time you read a "Ramona" book about her squeezing out all of the toothpaste from a tube and thought it sounded amazing and you too, MUST DO THIS RIGHT NOW. Of course there were repercussions to the toothpaste incident and the play dough factory wasn't so much fun when it became too encrusted with old playdough blobs to function properly...
BUT.
I shall stick to my conviction: Squishing stuff is satisfying.

CUPCAKES

Preheat 325
Grease & flour muffin tin
Whisk the following until chips melt & set aside
1/3 cup Coco powder
1/3 cup choco chips
½ cup hot coffee

Cream together and set aside
¾ cup sugar
2 eggs
½ cup veg oil
½ cup sour cream
1 tsp vanilla extract

Sift, mix and set aside
1 cup flour
½ tsp baking soda
¼ tsp salt

Mix choco liquid into egg liquid, gradually add to flour mix
Bake for 18-20 minutes
COOL COMPLETELY on a rack
cut tops off placing the knife at an angle so you cut out a cone from the cake, chop the top off the cone, fill cake, replace top, glaze and decorate

Filling

Mix in heat proof container:
3 tblspn water
¾ tsp gelatin
Heat in microwave for 30 seconds (or until dissolved) set aside to cool slightly***

Mix with
4 tbspn unsalted butter
1 tsp vanilla
Pinch salt

Let sit 5 minutes
Whisk in 1 ¼ cup fluff

Fridge at least 30 minutes and it will get pretty stiff
place cream into a piping bag or a ziplock, reserve about 2 TBspn to decorate top of cakes
fill cakes

Chocolate ganache
Melt together in heatproof bowl (either 30 seconds in microwave or using a bain de marie)
3 tblspn unsalted butter
½ cup chips
Pour ganache over filled cupcakes let cool for 15 mins or until ganache sets and decorate with reserved cream filling

*sounds horrid but is absolutely tasty and satisfyingly chewy
**think giant rice blob with something in the middle wrapped in flat toasted seaweed
*** Be warned, this stuff smells like sweaty hairy ass