uhhh my remembering didn't happen (see previous post) it will eventually
I've been out of sorts lately, had the flu, been living in the casa de blues (or would that be azules?) and I've been miffed at who knows what. Mister and I are tired of the suburbs and the routine of life. We bitch and moan about everything and never go anywhere. We've been in this area for over 5 years now (holy. shit.) and we still have no group of friends, no local hangout... It's easiest to say "we're not like the people around here" but really it boils down to us not making an effort. We certainly are shy and weird but we are where ever we go so how is this place any different?
Strangely, during the last year of miffdom Mister and I have been growing even closer and don't fight as much.
So, I got dat goin' for me.
As part of my "Snap Out of the Pity Party Bullshit" campaign, I started a new pottery class this week.
"Potluck Potporri". I was of course, the only person to bring copies of the 3 recipes requested in the class description (NERD). I'm the only one who's never taken a class at this establishment before. (OUTSIDER) I'm the only non-native of the state. (OMG! A YANKEE!!) And to round it off I had to spontaneously speak in front of 12 strangers which means I probably stuttered and sounded like a crazy person.
Thankfully, I don't give a tiny rat's ass* because everyone else in the class was very welcoming and friendly.
Pretty good time so far. It's one of the largest pottery classes I've been in and the teacher is helpful and an excellent speaker/demo guy. This is exactly what I needed to boost my skillz. Point of class: we discuss objects meant for use at potlucks like casserole dishes and bowl platter combos and the pitfalls of said objects then make them.
I imagine most people would rather jam a fist full of straws up their nose than discuss the interactions between humans and their dishes buuuuttt I enjoy the topic.
First assignment is a chip/dip set. I have a few ideas so far. I'm thinking of making a smaller 2 person version but smaller defeats my goal of learning to throw "bigger". I'll have to post final product pics and find some new recipes to fill them with...
At this point, many of my classmates don't seem that imaginative- not risk takers if you will... This conformity is not unexpected though, every class is generally 98% non-art people. All kinds of people are drawn to pottery because it's one of the functional arts like knitting and woodworking**. You create a functional object ("what's the point of a painting if it just sits there?") and with practice anyone can make some very nice items. In fact, one could have an inborn artistic talent, like for painting, but only be able to make 20lb ashtrays because one never practiced.
Pottery: The Great Equalizer
The other SOPPB campaign movements are to find fundage for Mister to resume pilot lessons and to encourage Mister go to open mic nights to read his writin's. So far the fundage business is a wash.
However.
Last night was the first time we've both gone to an open mic since we moved here. Aside from the inevitable "nine eleven" poetry***, I enjoyed the others' writings immensely. I don't think I've developed my appreciation for poetry well enough. (Or maybe I just hate bad poetry and there is a LOT of it out there.) There were 3 poems I really liked and I kinda wish I could get copies of them. Hmmm wonder if I could next time. Mister's reading went over really well. I'm sure it's better to hear "your writing is excellent, please come back to read more" from a total stranger than from me. I'm a supporter of constructive criticism but somehow he never believes that I'd tell him if I think it's crap.
Ok, enough bull shnickety, time to get back to business.
Ta
*Doesn't a tiny rat's ass sound somehow endearing?
**Yes, yes. Sometimes referred to as crafts or arts and crafts. Happy?
***with the exception of the poem of the lady living in Iraq around that time- Really? Are you fucking kidding me? It was 9 years ago. You lived in Clayton, NC. You've never even BEEN to Manhattan. You don't know a single soul who lives in the state of NY or even NJ for that matter. Shut the fuck up because it's beyond disrespectful.
05 November, 2010
01 November, 2010
Cupcakes o' Magic
So I'm not providing this recipe today, but I'll try to remember to do so tomorrow.
and now you'll stop reading
heh
Ok, now the real start of post:
America's Test Kitchen how do I love thee?
I think every recipe I've followed from these guys has been tasty. I mean every single one. Their website is http://www.americastestkitchen.com/ and you have to sign up for a membership to view recipes/reviews and the like but if you enjoy that sort of thing then it's worth it. ORRR you can find their cookbook collections. It's geared toward the home cook and those without food education so I like it for that. BUT I also like it because they explain why they're using the methods or ingredients they are...
Last weekend we saw an episode that was an attempt to mimic, or rather better, the little chocolate cupcakes with creme filling and the white curly q's on the top.
This weekend we attempted to make them.
Oh.
My.
A-God.
Cup-ped-cake is so good.
sidebar: There was a Daily Show episode that featured a German man (who I thought was an ambassador or something but he wasn't Scharioth so I don't know his name) and a giant cupcake. It was hilarious and I'm unable to find it again. ("What is de purpose of dis object?")
sider sidebar: Sure I'm in the demographic for those who get their news from The Daily Show. I'm unsure as to WHY this is a mystery to other news programs such as MSNBC or CNN (I refuse to even type the other big news channel). All you really have to do is look at the list of guests the Daily Show's had over the years to know why. It runs from President Obama and Former Prime Minister Tony Blair to Johnny Knoxville and Justin Timberlake... It is an entertaining program, makes fun of all types of political parties
Where was I...
How could I forget?
CUPCAKE
2 ingredients with comments
gelatin: I don't know if I've ever used plain gelatin for anything before but when you heat it, it smells like ASS (big sweaty ones). Blech... I should've expected this I guess, it's basically animal bits like hooves and hide but mamma mia was that a stench.
fluff: Mister had never had fluff before so I made his first fluff experience better by a 100 with the application of peanut butter. I suggest you do the same if you like peanut butter and have never had fluff. Something about the 2 mixed together really is just an enhancement. His comment was "OH. This is magical." and he immediately called his Mother to ask why she never bought it when he was a child. (which was the same reason Mamma DPO never bought it)
Life Updates:
1. Marriage is still on and will be held in the NC art museum. Yay Art! Mamma DPO has agreed to make my dress so it's going to be amazing.
2. I bought a pottery wheel a few months ago (August) and have stopped pretty much all other activities. I'm an addict. Crap part is now it's getting too cold to throw outside and I'm banned from using it inside. Merf. My solution was to sign up for a class. Found a really good place that only charges $185 for 7 weeks. Which is an incredible price for those of you who've never done that sort of thing. Tomorrow night is first class - so. excited. eee!
3. I had the flu last week. Bad News: I missed too much work and I may be a Typhoid DPO. Good News: I had my laptop, I don't need a flu shot now and I've given this dieting business a boost by dropping 7 lbs.
4. Yes a "diet". A "fucking diet" if you will. This consists of me getting off my lazy arse to run and eating smaller portions of food. Like only 1 cupcake a week instead of 5 or one chicken thigh instead of 2. We'll see how long the running business lasts but the smaller portion thing works well. It's a good thing I love eating tiny food.
5. Nephew is well and can really smack a baseball. I'm not sure if this is a taught thing or just because he is his Father's son but that kid is really good at hitting things with a bat. Perhaps this is indicative of his future as Muscle for the mob...
6. Mister wants a French bulldog and wants to name it "Junction Box McQuaid". I will reserve myself on this topic for now.
and now you'll stop reading
heh
Ok, now the real start of post:
America's Test Kitchen how do I love thee?
I think every recipe I've followed from these guys has been tasty. I mean every single one. Their website is http://www.americastestkitchen.com/ and you have to sign up for a membership to view recipes/reviews and the like but if you enjoy that sort of thing then it's worth it. ORRR you can find their cookbook collections. It's geared toward the home cook and those without food education so I like it for that. BUT I also like it because they explain why they're using the methods or ingredients they are...
Last weekend we saw an episode that was an attempt to mimic, or rather better, the little chocolate cupcakes with creme filling and the white curly q's on the top.
This weekend we attempted to make them.
Oh.
My.
A-God.
Cup-ped-cake is so good.
sidebar: There was a Daily Show episode that featured a German man (who I thought was an ambassador or something but he wasn't Scharioth so I don't know his name) and a giant cupcake. It was hilarious and I'm unable to find it again. ("What is de purpose of dis object?")
sider sidebar: Sure I'm in the demographic for those who get their news from The Daily Show. I'm unsure as to WHY this is a mystery to other news programs such as MSNBC or CNN (I refuse to even type the other big news channel). All you really have to do is look at the list of guests the Daily Show's had over the years to know why. It runs from President Obama and Former Prime Minister Tony Blair to Johnny Knoxville and Justin Timberlake... It is an entertaining program, makes fun of all types of political parties
Where was I...
How could I forget?
CUPCAKE
2 ingredients with comments
gelatin: I don't know if I've ever used plain gelatin for anything before but when you heat it, it smells like ASS (big sweaty ones). Blech... I should've expected this I guess, it's basically animal bits like hooves and hide but mamma mia was that a stench.
fluff: Mister had never had fluff before so I made his first fluff experience better by a 100 with the application of peanut butter. I suggest you do the same if you like peanut butter and have never had fluff. Something about the 2 mixed together really is just an enhancement. His comment was "OH. This is magical." and he immediately called his Mother to ask why she never bought it when he was a child. (which was the same reason Mamma DPO never bought it)
Life Updates:
1. Marriage is still on and will be held in the NC art museum. Yay Art! Mamma DPO has agreed to make my dress so it's going to be amazing.
2. I bought a pottery wheel a few months ago (August) and have stopped pretty much all other activities. I'm an addict. Crap part is now it's getting too cold to throw outside and I'm banned from using it inside. Merf. My solution was to sign up for a class. Found a really good place that only charges $185 for 7 weeks. Which is an incredible price for those of you who've never done that sort of thing. Tomorrow night is first class - so. excited. eee!
3. I had the flu last week. Bad News: I missed too much work and I may be a Typhoid DPO. Good News: I had my laptop, I don't need a flu shot now and I've given this dieting business a boost by dropping 7 lbs.
4. Yes a "diet". A "fucking diet" if you will. This consists of me getting off my lazy arse to run and eating smaller portions of food. Like only 1 cupcake a week instead of 5 or one chicken thigh instead of 2. We'll see how long the running business lasts but the smaller portion thing works well. It's a good thing I love eating tiny food.
5. Nephew is well and can really smack a baseball. I'm not sure if this is a taught thing or just because he is his Father's son but that kid is really good at hitting things with a bat. Perhaps this is indicative of his future as Muscle for the mob...
6. Mister wants a French bulldog and wants to name it "Junction Box McQuaid". I will reserve myself on this topic for now.
LUNCH IS NOW OVER.
bye for now :)
06 August, 2010
Herr Kaiser Roll
DPO who?
Really... I'm not dead just been supremely busy like everyone else.
Along the way I've participated in the DPO household's Great Bread Experiment.
Would you like to participate too?
1. Buy "The Bread Baker's Apprentice" book
2. Read the ENTIRE book (yes, recipes included)
3. Think about which bread you're really capable of trying first
4. Hunt down ingredients
5. Make your starter for said bread
6. Forget about starter for 3 weeks
7. Throw it away and start again
8. Follow your first bread recipe (well 2nd since technically the starter is a recipe too)
I tried making kaiser rolls. I will say they came out very well. I didn't have the exact shape of the traditional kaiser (with the crown-like lines) and they weren't glossy BUT they were crackly crust, soft chewy guts and had a lovely flavor. I think if I made them again I would double the formula because it's a LOT of work for 6 rolls.
In other news I bought a kitchen scale. The reviews of this particular model were fair to middling and I've had no troubles with it... I could see if you use large bowls or microscopic amounts of ingredients where it would be inconvenient. The display is tiled up for easy reading but if a large bowl were covering it you wouldn't be able to read it.
When I bought the scale, the manager of the local bed bath & beyond ("stay away from that beyond section") assisted me. Pleasant enough man, however his concept of me using the scale to weigh ingredients for creating a new food (and a CARB at that!!) was unheard of... "Really? You weigh the flour instead of using a measuring cup?" Uh yeah... what do you use a kitchen scale for? He and his wife weigh their food before it is consumed. He didn't elaborate and I thought it would be prying to inquire further. Since then, I've wondered why would you do that? Pure curiosity? I get that. The first thing I did with my scale is find out how much everything in my kitchen weighed from my glass of wine to mailers on their way to recycle-land. Mister did the same thing when he got home. "Cool. How much does my sharp pointy stick thing of doom weigh?" I've heard of some exercise enthusiasts weighing their food to keep track of how much they consume and to keep portion size consistent. I wonder do they weigh their poo to see how much of the food their body uses?
Wait.
I don't want to know.
Read "Handbook of Hedonism" it's entertaining and I share a lot of the opinions in it. You want to eat it, eat it but don't get pissy when you get fat. It's your own damn fault.
k
going away now
tty in another month
Really... I'm not dead just been supremely busy like everyone else.
Along the way I've participated in the DPO household's Great Bread Experiment.
Would you like to participate too?
1. Buy "The Bread Baker's Apprentice" book
2. Read the ENTIRE book (yes, recipes included)
3. Think about which bread you're really capable of trying first
4. Hunt down ingredients
5. Make your starter for said bread
6. Forget about starter for 3 weeks
7. Throw it away and start again
8. Follow your first bread recipe (well 2nd since technically the starter is a recipe too)
I tried making kaiser rolls. I will say they came out very well. I didn't have the exact shape of the traditional kaiser (with the crown-like lines) and they weren't glossy BUT they were crackly crust, soft chewy guts and had a lovely flavor. I think if I made them again I would double the formula because it's a LOT of work for 6 rolls.
In other news I bought a kitchen scale. The reviews of this particular model were fair to middling and I've had no troubles with it... I could see if you use large bowls or microscopic amounts of ingredients where it would be inconvenient. The display is tiled up for easy reading but if a large bowl were covering it you wouldn't be able to read it.
When I bought the scale, the manager of the local bed bath & beyond ("stay away from that beyond section") assisted me. Pleasant enough man, however his concept of me using the scale to weigh ingredients for creating a new food (and a CARB at that!!) was unheard of... "Really? You weigh the flour instead of using a measuring cup?" Uh yeah... what do you use a kitchen scale for? He and his wife weigh their food before it is consumed. He didn't elaborate and I thought it would be prying to inquire further. Since then, I've wondered why would you do that? Pure curiosity? I get that. The first thing I did with my scale is find out how much everything in my kitchen weighed from my glass of wine to mailers on their way to recycle-land. Mister did the same thing when he got home. "Cool. How much does my sharp pointy stick thing of doom weigh?" I've heard of some exercise enthusiasts weighing their food to keep track of how much they consume and to keep portion size consistent. I wonder do they weigh their poo to see how much of the food their body uses?
Wait.
I don't want to know.
Read "Handbook of Hedonism" it's entertaining and I share a lot of the opinions in it. You want to eat it, eat it but don't get pissy when you get fat. It's your own damn fault.
k
going away now
tty in another month
02 June, 2010
Wheat bricks.
Again, no recipe.
Sorry... I've been distracted the past few weekends so not enough experimenting time has been available. Usually I make something a couple times to see if it comes out the same and doesn't taste like ass before I post it.
A few years ago, I bought a book called the "Science of Baking". Actually this is a text book for some cooking schools. I learned a few things... what fats and sugars do, how many different types of flours there are and their properties. I suppose I could read about the theory of baking until I'm blind but then I'd just have to grab my helper monkey and try making bread. Which, now that I think of it, might be fun. I like monkeys. Well... I think I like monkeys. The reality of a monkey may be a little less exciting that the idea. Tiny hands, birdlike movements and very sharp teeth, not to mention the diapers.
ANYWAY.
This weekend I attempted to make wheat buns. Why start with the low-gluten wheat flour? Because it's what was in my cabinet and I have vital wheat gluten. What I don't have is a kitchen scale. I think that is going to be a purchase this year. (FYI- Cooks Illustrated a.k.a. America's test kitchen has fantastic reviews of kitcheny stuff.) I also have a giant mixer that uses dough hooks but frankly, it's a bitch to clean and I like the way dough feels when you knead it, so I don't use it for bread. ALL of the recipes I have call for a mixer to knead. I need to get the Bread baker's apprentice or the Bread Bible. Something that has pics of technique for kneading. I find that I wind up kneading bread dough like I wedge clay so the inside of my breads come out sort of spiral-y.
Books books books.
All that being said, I didn't knead long enough so my buns are lead. They taste ok and if you cut them into thin slices it's just like wheat bread from the store. I'm buying a scale and will attempt to try it again this weekend with or without said apparatus.
Mister and I went to the art museum this weekend and we think we're going to try to have a wedding there. We also want to check out the local artspace and one other place in wake forest before we decide... so we might have a date soon.
Lost my thought...
Oh well. Hope you're having a tolerable week. Slugs and Hugs all around!
Sorry... I've been distracted the past few weekends so not enough experimenting time has been available. Usually I make something a couple times to see if it comes out the same and doesn't taste like ass before I post it.
A few years ago, I bought a book called the "Science of Baking". Actually this is a text book for some cooking schools. I learned a few things... what fats and sugars do, how many different types of flours there are and their properties. I suppose I could read about the theory of baking until I'm blind but then I'd just have to grab my helper monkey and try making bread. Which, now that I think of it, might be fun. I like monkeys. Well... I think I like monkeys. The reality of a monkey may be a little less exciting that the idea. Tiny hands, birdlike movements and very sharp teeth, not to mention the diapers.
ANYWAY.
This weekend I attempted to make wheat buns. Why start with the low-gluten wheat flour? Because it's what was in my cabinet and I have vital wheat gluten. What I don't have is a kitchen scale. I think that is going to be a purchase this year. (FYI- Cooks Illustrated a.k.a. America's test kitchen has fantastic reviews of kitcheny stuff.) I also have a giant mixer that uses dough hooks but frankly, it's a bitch to clean and I like the way dough feels when you knead it, so I don't use it for bread. ALL of the recipes I have call for a mixer to knead. I need to get the Bread baker's apprentice or the Bread Bible. Something that has pics of technique for kneading. I find that I wind up kneading bread dough like I wedge clay so the inside of my breads come out sort of spiral-y.
Books books books.
All that being said, I didn't knead long enough so my buns are lead. They taste ok and if you cut them into thin slices it's just like wheat bread from the store. I'm buying a scale and will attempt to try it again this weekend with or without said apparatus.
Mister and I went to the art museum this weekend and we think we're going to try to have a wedding there. We also want to check out the local artspace and one other place in wake forest before we decide... so we might have a date soon.
Lost my thought...
Oh well. Hope you're having a tolerable week. Slugs and Hugs all around!
25 May, 2010
This cat really knows where his towel is.
DON'T PANIC
That's right Hoopy Froods, it's Towel Day. A day to remind us of a wonderful author, a visionary if you will... and it's also a day to remember how insignificant we are in the Universe.
This year I'm sporting a lovely plush red handtowel. I'm sure someone has thought to manufacture and sell Hitchhiker towels but really... that sort of defeats the purpose yes?
I have no recipe today, just wanted to post a reminder to look up Douglas Adams' works. They're very entertaining and really... he was a creative genius.
In the words of the dolphins; "So long and thanks for all the fish."
24 May, 2010
Here comes the Duck
First things first, I hope Nephew is feeling much better today. Poor little guy has the flu... or food poisoning. Either way, I'm sorry for my Sister and her Hubby as well. HUGS!
I have a confession and I am loathe to admit it but... here goes. Ahem.
I have a confession and I am loathe to admit it but... here goes. Ahem.
I have been watching wedding shows on tv.
I know!! It's horrible!! ( it's due to the upcoming nuptials and I still have no idea when those will be but I'll let you know)
No worries though- I still haven't seen an entire episode of anything other than "buff brides" which I feel doesn't count because it's more about people working out than weddings. The few shows I have seen don't really raise my faith in people.
And yes, there are a few different show types. Let me describe a few to save you the pain of ever even considering for a nanosecond to give into the curiosity:
Bridezilla a.k.a. I'm a spoiled Who-are: Really? Chill out before you get knocked the f out. Trust me, you may think your wedding is the most important day of your life but the divorce finalization day will be equally so, at least for him. On behalf of all of us, I beg of you, don't reproduce.
I'm inept! Save me Gay Stereotype Man!: Enter an average 23-27 year old cute, young and ignorant woman. They have a vague wedding plan but all in all have no idea what they're doing. Oh! What to do? Who will save the day?! Dun dun DAAAAA!!! In flies an appropriately flamboyant (but tasteful) gay* mid to late 30 something who will help her realize her dream. And treat her like an idiot and make fun of her the entire time. Caddy? Well, Helloooo, that IS part of the image, right?
As a 30-something I feel like I couldn't plan a "cohesive wedding". I'm bit more... experienced in life than the women that are featured on these shows. For instance, I've eaten asparagus before and understand that a wedding really isn't about you, it's about your guests. So, how on earth are they supposed to know what to do?
Lame.
Dress shop: A dysfunctional family of co-workers strive to "find the perfect dress" for their bride-to-be. When I say find, I mean convince women and sometimes their parents to spend a ridiculous amount of money on white cloth. If you buy a $15,000 dress, you should be shot. End of story, it's a fucking dress (not to mention half my salary). They ALL look the SAME. Pay the little old lady at the tailor shop $1000 and get the same thing. Or perhaps... fly to India, pick up the dress yourself, save a few bucks and get a fun trip out of your money.
Meh. I really need to stop watching these shows.
Duck.
Ok, so a little knowledge for next time: when you buy a "whole duck" at the Asian market... they mean a WHOLE duck. I didn't see the head and little webbed, clawed feet until I took it out of the package. I should've known, in most other countries meat has a face when you buy it.
He was smiling at me.
The smile did help me feel like he was one with the universe and didn't mind us eating him.
Yes, he.
His name was Duck Edgar Dumas Aloysius Eoghain Dodgers**
For the most part, my attitude is, whatevs, all meat had a smile at one point; however, I did wuss out when it came to chopping his head off. Mister did it... next time though, I will not fail! If I can jamb a knife into a live lobster** then I can behead a dead duck.
How was it you ask?
It. Was. Delicious. (and slightly overdone) The skin was crispy and the it wasn't super fatty however, it could've cooked for about 10-15 minutes less than it did. There wasn't a whole lot of meat, but was the perfect amount for 2-3 people.
How did I do it you ask?
Well.... here goes
Oh, and this takes a LONG time to do because of the drying time
Ingredients
1, 5 to 6 lb duck
3 Tbspn soy sauce
3 tbspn sesame oil
3 tbspn orange juice
1 tbspn sugar
2 tbspn rice wine
1 tsp garlic
1/2 tsp liquid smoke
1/2 tsp pepper
1/2 tsp 5 spice powder
Prepare the duck
1. Cut off any parts you don't want (ie. wing tips, webbed feet or duck brain containers) and trim the excess fat around the openings
2. Rinse the duck in warm water REALLY WELL inside and out
3. pat the duck dry and let sit on a rack
The boiled glaze
1. mix the rest of the ingredients in a heavy saucepan and bring to a boil
2. lower and let simmer for 5 minutes stirring occasionally
Bathe the duck (this supposedly helps the duck to be less fatty and the skin to crisp)
If you have a meat hook, just secure the duck onto the hook and follow step 3. However if, like myself you're fresh out of meat hooks (ew.) then try this:
1. place a wire baking rack over a container large enough to hold all the glaze
2. place the duck on the rack
3. ladle the hot glaze over the entire duck (front and back)
4. I repeated the glazing twice
Dry the Duck
Again, if you have a meat hook, just hang your glazed duck in a cool dry area (not in your fridge). The point of the section is to dry out the duck a little and I guess age it? It's what all the Peking duck recipes called for...
I covered the top of a wine bottle with aluminum foil, put the bottle in a sauce pan wide enough to catch and blood or glaze and stuck the duck onto the top of the bottle.
1. Air dry the duck in a cool (65-75F) room for 5 hours to overnight
Roast the Duck
1. Preheat your oven to 450F
2. Fill a large baking dish half-way with warm water
3. Place an ovensafe rack over the water filled baking dish
4. Place the duck onto the rack
5. Slash cuts into the duck breast where is is fattiest- Do NOT cut into the breast meat, just slice through the skin and into the fat
6. Poke holes that will go all the way through the duck and allow excess fat to drain into the water pan
7. Put whole contraption into the oven for 5 minutes
8. After 5 minutes, turn the heat down to 350F
9. Cook for 40 minutes and check every 10 minutes thereafter until desired doneness****
10. Skin should be golden brown and crispy all over, if it is not, turn your oven to a high temp 450-500F and bake for 5-7 minutes more
Rest
1. When duck is done, let it rest for 10 minutes
2. Carve it up
Most recipes similar to this one called for the duck to be served as small pieces on pancakes. I was too lazy to make the pancakes... so we just ate it like roast chicken.
The next expensive meat type will be a rack of lamb... probably in July or so. We'll have to see.
*How did this stereotype become safe for the conservative baby boomers? I know it's been coming along nicely for years now, and I'm stoked that openly gay men have SOME place in societal uhh, norms? but really... they're not ALL like that. I guess flamboyant men can be friends with your wife but whatever you do, don't let them get married or take care of a child no one else wants.
ANNNND now I'll get off the soap box
**Duck Dodgers of the twenty fourth and half century!!
*** I'M SORRY MISTER LOBSTER, I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY!!!
**** I'm not sure how to phrase that... until it's reached perfection? until it's how you like it? eh, you pick
20 May, 2010
Holy Shit it's only Thursday.
I have a cop out recipe today.
I wanted to inform you of impending doom.
Mamma DPO very kindly gave me a duck and after 2 weeks of reading how people do various things to ducks, (be glad I looked so you don't have to... two words: force and feeding EW.) I think I'm ready. I just have to decide for the first duck if I want to go with a soy based marinade, herb paste or just a plain roasted duck... Soy based stuff is my comfort zone however I will most likely start simple. What I do know is pinot noir seems to be the recommended wine to be consumed with duck.
I'll let you know how it goes.
One of my general rules is: Try not to bemoan thy fate when time seems to slow down. Why? Because really, our time IS a limited quantity. Keeping this in mind, today is Thursday and this has been a very long week. I think because I've spent a lot of it at the workplace and not much of it sleeping. I'm looking forward to not driving anywhere this weekend. I have a duck to cook, laundry to do and a rock to carve. Ok, so the rock's been sitting there for about a year but now I have a new tool to use and well... you know about how much I love tools*.
Papa DPO and I went to a killer woodworking supply shop last weekend. They have pretty much everything and I wanted it all. Meh. I thought I would do a little carving again. It's been a while. I mayyyyy go back there and get a large piece of basswood, but we'll see. I want to make a design first so a block of wood doesn't take up my desk space for 2 years.
So many crafts to try, so little skillz.
Indication of how the week is going- by Tuesday I needed one of these:
The Tropical Mega-Screw
Ingredients
4 to 6 oz coconut rum (keep in mind 8oz equals 1 cup)
orange juice to taste
crushed ice
Mix it
Drink it
Repeat
May your weeks be long and your drinks be plentiful :)
*insert tool jokes here
I wanted to inform you of impending doom.
Mamma DPO very kindly gave me a duck and after 2 weeks of reading how people do various things to ducks, (be glad I looked so you don't have to... two words: force and feeding EW.) I think I'm ready. I just have to decide for the first duck if I want to go with a soy based marinade, herb paste or just a plain roasted duck... Soy based stuff is my comfort zone however I will most likely start simple. What I do know is pinot noir seems to be the recommended wine to be consumed with duck.
I'll let you know how it goes.
One of my general rules is: Try not to bemoan thy fate when time seems to slow down. Why? Because really, our time IS a limited quantity. Keeping this in mind, today is Thursday and this has been a very long week. I think because I've spent a lot of it at the workplace and not much of it sleeping. I'm looking forward to not driving anywhere this weekend. I have a duck to cook, laundry to do and a rock to carve. Ok, so the rock's been sitting there for about a year but now I have a new tool to use and well... you know about how much I love tools*.
Papa DPO and I went to a killer woodworking supply shop last weekend. They have pretty much everything and I wanted it all. Meh. I thought I would do a little carving again. It's been a while. I mayyyyy go back there and get a large piece of basswood, but we'll see. I want to make a design first so a block of wood doesn't take up my desk space for 2 years.
So many crafts to try, so little skillz.
Indication of how the week is going- by Tuesday I needed one of these:
The Tropical Mega-Screw
Ingredients
4 to 6 oz coconut rum (keep in mind 8oz equals 1 cup)
orange juice to taste
crushed ice
Mix it
Drink it
Repeat
May your weeks be long and your drinks be plentiful :)
*insert tool jokes here
17 May, 2010
There's theirs. Tzatziki-like stuff
Homonyms seem to be a weak point for most people who communicate through writing. I mix 'em up sometimes but I try to make a point to re-read what I write before I hit send on the ole email. I wish business associates would do the same. "Its ready" and "This item is there's." looks very unprofessional. I try to be understanding because I know I've done the same thing before but it's just like a new ding in your door.
"There's" has an apostrophe in it... that means it's a possessive type of word right?
NO. It's a contraction.
Ok, well then "it's" must be correct because this phrase was meant to be possessive...
NO. The word "it" doesn't follow that rule.
Meh whatevs... too much effort to get bent out of shape about it right?
Weekend was good, hung out at Sister's house for most of it and saw Poppa DPO. Me and Nephew also had some bonding moments and Nephew tried to taste his Dad's "barley pop" (aka beer) on the sly. I had flash backs of sneaking sips of my Dad's beer. Nephew is currently displaying his crafty side and penchant for word trickery. Two year old kids are definitely part fairy when it comes to the word games.
"No, you can't have the squirt gun."
"But Grandpa wants it, I take it to him"
"Nice try kid, but no."
Random fact about me, I like the phrase "Well, that just eats my lunch."
Sooooo, moving on.
If you've never tried tzatziki (sounds sort of like cha-zee-kee) it's a yoghurt and cucumber type of cold dip. Very easy to make but you do have to make it a day before you serve it otherwise it doesn't really taste like much. Makes your mouth feel sort of cool and is especially good with heavy dishes like gyro meat*... and I do likes it on the pita chips
Ingredients
1, 12 oz. container or 1 and 1/14 cup plain Greek yoghurt (I use the no fat kind and it seems to work just fine)
1 tsp minced garlic
1/2 tsp lemon juice
1/2 tsp pepper
1/2 tsp coarse salt
about 3 inches of a cucumber
Strip and umm... think of Lefkada?
1. peel, de-seed and finely chop the cucumber ( you can de-seed and grate the cucumber too but squish out a little of the liquid)
2. Dump all ingredients into container you can cover and refrigerate
3. Stir it all up
4. chill over night so the flavor is uniform
5. eat it
* those Greeks do know their stuff, I guess after being a civilization for so long, they would. Along those lines, I imagine the Chinese are geniuses for the same reason. Do some research, get back to me, k?
"There's" has an apostrophe in it... that means it's a possessive type of word right?
NO. It's a contraction.
Ok, well then "it's" must be correct because this phrase was meant to be possessive...
NO. The word "it" doesn't follow that rule.
Meh whatevs... too much effort to get bent out of shape about it right?
Weekend was good, hung out at Sister's house for most of it and saw Poppa DPO. Me and Nephew also had some bonding moments and Nephew tried to taste his Dad's "barley pop" (aka beer) on the sly. I had flash backs of sneaking sips of my Dad's beer. Nephew is currently displaying his crafty side and penchant for word trickery. Two year old kids are definitely part fairy when it comes to the word games.
"No, you can't have the squirt gun."
"But Grandpa wants it, I take it to him"
"Nice try kid, but no."
Random fact about me, I like the phrase "Well, that just eats my lunch."
Sooooo, moving on.
If you've never tried tzatziki (sounds sort of like cha-zee-kee) it's a yoghurt and cucumber type of cold dip. Very easy to make but you do have to make it a day before you serve it otherwise it doesn't really taste like much. Makes your mouth feel sort of cool and is especially good with heavy dishes like gyro meat*... and I do likes it on the pita chips
Ingredients
1, 12 oz. container or 1 and 1/14 cup plain Greek yoghurt (I use the no fat kind and it seems to work just fine)
1 tsp minced garlic
1/2 tsp lemon juice
1/2 tsp pepper
1/2 tsp coarse salt
about 3 inches of a cucumber
Strip and umm... think of Lefkada?
1. peel, de-seed and finely chop the cucumber ( you can de-seed and grate the cucumber too but squish out a little of the liquid)
2. Dump all ingredients into container you can cover and refrigerate
3. Stir it all up
4. chill over night so the flavor is uniform
5. eat it
* those Greeks do know their stuff, I guess after being a civilization for so long, they would. Along those lines, I imagine the Chinese are geniuses for the same reason. Do some research, get back to me, k?
14 May, 2010
Scoot Over Meatface, it's Gyro time!!
How on earth do I let this blogaroo go for so long? Oh that's right, I'm lazy.
A message:
Dear Douchebag on a Scooter in the Middle of Afternoon Traffic:
I would like to advise you that a bicycle helmet isn't really a motorcycle helmet and is not a wise choice. I realize that you pedal your bike about as fast as your scooter is going right now but keep in mind you usually try to stay out of traffic with a bicycle. Is a scooter really your only means of conveyance? If it is, you may also want to consider the fact that a max speed of 30 in a 50mph is quite dangerous for you as well as others. Oh? You don't give a rat's ass because you have rights too?
How silly of me! My apologies. Next time I won't warn you when you cut me off to get into my lane (ahem, the PASSING lane). I also won't try to protect your comparatively naked body from myself or the very large truck who obviously can't see you and is trying to get into the very same spot you just snuck into. Don't forget to flip me off while I hose you off my grill.
Thanks! :)
DPO
I have a few questions for You. Yes, you.
1. Do motorcycle enthusiasts have a dress code? Sure, I have a license to ride* and I understand the practicality and safety of items like glasses and leather pants but was there a handout somewhere I missed? Do I need to purchase an US flag patch the size of my back before I can purchase the ride or is it the other way around? Too many questions.
2. Where should we have our wedding? PA or NC? Decisions, decisions... too bad I'm not the planning type. Mister currently has the con on this one because really, I'm fine with running away and joining the circus. I'm more of a tell me when/where to show up and if I need to wear a dress.** We've been trying to decide which place would be better because of family having to travel... not everyone is comfortable with a city and hotel prices tend to be a little less around here. Meh, it'll get figured out.
3. Did you know that gyro's are just meatloaf sammiches? SURPRISE!! I had no idea either but good gravy are they delicious. I hear the word gyro and immediately think of the Greek food truck at UCONN with the very loud Greek dude and his heavenly food. Seriously, this guy must've gotten the recipe from one of the gods. Also, he didn't skimp on the good stuff. I'd get one sandwich and eat it for two days. Not a bad way to spend $5.
This recipe is for a meatloaf like gyro. You can also cook it on a spit rotisserie style but I don't have that set up... I also substituted marjoram for oregano and dried onions instead of fresh (you have to squeeze out onion juice if you use fresh)
Ingredients
1 lb ground lamb
1 1/2 tsp onion powder
1 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp dried oregano
1 tsp rosemary (I used fresh finely chopped)
1 1/2 kosher salt
1/2 tsp pepper
Form and Cook
1. Preheat oven to 325F
2. Plop all ingredients into a food processor and pulse until you have a paste-like consistency.
3. Put the meat into a small loaf pan and press it into the sides
4. Place the loaf pan into a larger pan with water in it (bain-marie). The water should reach about half way up the small loaf pan.
5. Bake for an hour to hour and half, you'll have to take it's temp (165F-170F is done)
6. Drain off any fat
7. cool for about 20 minutes
8. slice and serve on pita or by itself
I have a sauce that is perfect with this meat I will post next time.
* Yes, I have the actual little M on my license. Took a lot of sweat, adrenaline and dirty looks to the guy eyeing my tater tots to get it too.
**Please note, the boots are not optional.
A message:
Dear Douchebag on a Scooter in the Middle of Afternoon Traffic:
I would like to advise you that a bicycle helmet isn't really a motorcycle helmet and is not a wise choice. I realize that you pedal your bike about as fast as your scooter is going right now but keep in mind you usually try to stay out of traffic with a bicycle. Is a scooter really your only means of conveyance? If it is, you may also want to consider the fact that a max speed of 30 in a 50mph is quite dangerous for you as well as others. Oh? You don't give a rat's ass because you have rights too?
How silly of me! My apologies. Next time I won't warn you when you cut me off to get into my lane (ahem, the PASSING lane). I also won't try to protect your comparatively naked body from myself or the very large truck who obviously can't see you and is trying to get into the very same spot you just snuck into. Don't forget to flip me off while I hose you off my grill.
Thanks! :)
DPO
I have a few questions for You. Yes, you.
1. Do motorcycle enthusiasts have a dress code? Sure, I have a license to ride* and I understand the practicality and safety of items like glasses and leather pants but was there a handout somewhere I missed? Do I need to purchase an US flag patch the size of my back before I can purchase the ride or is it the other way around? Too many questions.
2. Where should we have our wedding? PA or NC? Decisions, decisions... too bad I'm not the planning type. Mister currently has the con on this one because really, I'm fine with running away and joining the circus. I'm more of a tell me when/where to show up and if I need to wear a dress.** We've been trying to decide which place would be better because of family having to travel... not everyone is comfortable with a city and hotel prices tend to be a little less around here. Meh, it'll get figured out.
3. Did you know that gyro's are just meatloaf sammiches? SURPRISE!! I had no idea either but good gravy are they delicious. I hear the word gyro and immediately think of the Greek food truck at UCONN with the very loud Greek dude and his heavenly food. Seriously, this guy must've gotten the recipe from one of the gods. Also, he didn't skimp on the good stuff. I'd get one sandwich and eat it for two days. Not a bad way to spend $5.
This recipe is for a meatloaf like gyro. You can also cook it on a spit rotisserie style but I don't have that set up... I also substituted marjoram for oregano and dried onions instead of fresh (you have to squeeze out onion juice if you use fresh)
Ingredients
1 lb ground lamb
1 1/2 tsp onion powder
1 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp dried oregano
1 tsp rosemary (I used fresh finely chopped)
1 1/2 kosher salt
1/2 tsp pepper
Form and Cook
1. Preheat oven to 325F
2. Plop all ingredients into a food processor and pulse until you have a paste-like consistency.
3. Put the meat into a small loaf pan and press it into the sides
4. Place the loaf pan into a larger pan with water in it (bain-marie). The water should reach about half way up the small loaf pan.
5. Bake for an hour to hour and half, you'll have to take it's temp (165F-170F is done)
6. Drain off any fat
7. cool for about 20 minutes
8. slice and serve on pita or by itself
I have a sauce that is perfect with this meat I will post next time.
* Yes, I have the actual little M on my license. Took a lot of sweat, adrenaline and dirty looks to the guy eyeing my tater tots to get it too.
**Please note, the boots are not optional.
29 April, 2010
MOUSE CREAMS!!
Re-cap of past few uh... minutes? days?
1. A spider won in a battle with the DPO. Generally speaking, I don't kill spiders- bad luck and all that... but when the arachnid gets all X-TREME and start repelling in front of my face (or terrorizing a friend with said method) They're goners. Of course I was holding a cup of tea in one hand and decided the "balance on one foot smash with the other" death move* would be in order. Spider = dead but s/he had the last laugh since I sloshed tea all over my hand and had a scalded wrist for the rest of the day. Touche' Spidey...
2. Thanks to da Cheefs, I've been listening to more rap/r&b type musics. I try not to judge based on musical genre... if I like it, I like it. Piss off if you don't, I didn't ask. Starting a while back I found a love for Ms. Minaj and more recently, there's a new Ludacris/Cici song. The video is basically porn, it is some impressive dancing. Of course now they're ALL over the place so I'm not sure how much longer my love will last. I get sick of stuff it's played multiple times in an hour.
3. In the quest for finding a non extra machine way of making ice cream I think I've found an ok recipe. And here it is
Easy Coconut Ice Cream
Ingredients
1 can evaporated milk (regular % 12 or 14oz)
1 can sweetened condensed milk (full-fat12 or 14oz)
1 can coconut milk (full-fat12 or 14oz)
1/4 tsp ground nutmeg (fresh if you have it)
Mix it up
1. Dump all ingredients into a freezer proof bowl
2. put into freezer for 1-2 hours (until it starts to freeze)
Second Mixing
1. using a whisk or electric mixer whip the sort of frozen mixture until fluffy (think very soft peaks)
2. stick in a freezer proof container with lid
3. freeze until it's the ice cream hardness you prefer (awkward!)
eat it
*This is close to the Crane move from karate kid only more complicated due to cup of tea. Wax onnnn WAX OFF.
1. A spider won in a battle with the DPO. Generally speaking, I don't kill spiders- bad luck and all that... but when the arachnid gets all X-TREME and start repelling in front of my face (or terrorizing a friend with said method) They're goners. Of course I was holding a cup of tea in one hand and decided the "balance on one foot smash with the other" death move* would be in order. Spider = dead but s/he had the last laugh since I sloshed tea all over my hand and had a scalded wrist for the rest of the day. Touche' Spidey...
2. Thanks to da Cheefs, I've been listening to more rap/r&b type musics. I try not to judge based on musical genre... if I like it, I like it. Piss off if you don't, I didn't ask. Starting a while back I found a love for Ms. Minaj and more recently, there's a new Ludacris/Cici song. The video is basically porn, it is some impressive dancing. Of course now they're ALL over the place so I'm not sure how much longer my love will last. I get sick of stuff it's played multiple times in an hour.
3. In the quest for finding a non extra machine way of making ice cream I think I've found an ok recipe. And here it is
Easy Coconut Ice Cream
Ingredients
1 can evaporated milk (regular % 12 or 14oz)
1 can sweetened condensed milk (full-fat12 or 14oz)
1 can coconut milk (full-fat12 or 14oz)
1/4 tsp ground nutmeg (fresh if you have it)
Mix it up
1. Dump all ingredients into a freezer proof bowl
2. put into freezer for 1-2 hours (until it starts to freeze)
Second Mixing
1. using a whisk or electric mixer whip the sort of frozen mixture until fluffy (think very soft peaks)
2. stick in a freezer proof container with lid
3. freeze until it's the ice cream hardness you prefer (awkward!)
eat it
*This is close to the Crane move from karate kid only more complicated due to cup of tea. Wax onnnn WAX OFF.
23 April, 2010
We salute you, Garlic Pita Chips!
Mister is out of town this week so I guess I was feeling sort of bored. I didn't have anyone to annoy which led to me drink a bottle of wine last night. Actually it was part of one bottle and part of another. I'm feeling a little slow today but I suspect that's not from the wine but from the cigarettes I had. Blech. Some DPO advice: Don't smoke, if for nothing else then your hangovers won't be that bad. I'd given smokes up for a few years but I've fallen into the vicious social smoking circle. This will stop today.
!NO MAS!*
On the flip side, I can make the stuff Mister doesn't like to eat. Last night I had fettuccine with artichokes, capers and anchovies. Sounds gross I know, but the anchovies sort of disappear when you cook them and it doesn't taste of fish, just sort of salty. A Grandparent makes this fantastic dish with onions and anchovies, the name sounds like "aleech" but I have no idea what the actual name is. All I know is it's tasty.
OH
I have news!
Me n' Mister got engaged. You know, officially with a ring and all that. It's now my pet. We've named the ring "Esme" because the layout of the gems suggests a bug perched on my hand. Well, that and we couldn't get an engagement puppy.
Anyway, he asked in D.C. and terrified some passers by. He went all Jersey on 'em "HEY. YOU HAVE TO WITNESS THIS. I'M ASKING HER TO MARRY ME." (I'm glad he'll be on my side during the zombieclypse.)
While in D.C., Mister reveals a mysterious observation about moi and we have some excellent dinners. And I mean excellent.
My fave:
La Taberna del Alabardero.
If you have money go here, if you need to save money like ourselves, do it and go. Imagine a high ceilinged, comfortably red walled, white trimmed harem tent lit with candles. Think sumptuous but not over the top, potted plants, tasteful decor... That's kind of what the room looked like. The place has only about 20 tables and a small menu but it's well thought out. Has the standard tapas, paellas, jamons and some items interesting items not seen on every menu.
We shared a Serrano ham and cheese appetizer, I had a dry red wine that made the ham taste a little like blood. Sounds odd but it was pretty good. The wine pairings were my favorite part, helped me shut up and enjoy the various tastes everything produces together.
For main course I had venison with grilled asparagus and an apple type chutney with some fruit puree... we think it was maybe apricot and apple but not too sure. I could probably find the menu online but I'm lazy. You look it up. The venison was perfectly seasoned, not over cooked and was tender and succulent. Really, the way the meat was cooked was a revelation. I understood the apple stuff, berries and apples really go well with bambi but I was slightly confused about the asparagus... seemed a little arbitrary.**
Mister had braised oxtail with a potato thing and some veggies. It too was delish. (Yes, we're uncouth and share our dishes in a $$$$ restaurant.)
For dessert we shared a cake soaked in wine with coconut white chocolate sauce and berries. Something along those lines. Mister loved it, I liked it but I think there was a little too much going on so I can't give it the DPO 12 gun salute***. If we were to go back, I would probably holla at the choco souffle.
Mister's mystery (please note this is not verbatim, just the gist of what was said):
M: "I don't understand it. I've been trying to figure it out but I can't."
DPO: "What's that?"
M:"Older Spanish men LOVE you."
DPO:"Ummmmm. What?"
M:"They do!! Every where we go, they find you and they fawn all over you. They LOVE YOU. It's so weird."
DPO:"Thanks."
M:"NO! I mean I get why they like you. I like you. But these men light up around you more than anyone else around. Why is that?"
DPO:"I'm telepathic but only in Spanish? I have no idea. Maybe because I smile with my whole face."
M:" We could probably go to Cuba and you'd own the country after a week."
DPO:"How do we get there?"
I'm pretty sure it's one of 2 reasons: because DPO Sr. looks like Cardinal-Infante Ferdinand and I look like my Pops.
or
I look like a deer and when not at work or around small children, I have the mouth of a demon.
Remember: Sass will get you everywhere.
I'll let you know if the Cuban takeover happens but in the meantime try making this tasty snicky-snack.
Garlic Pita Chips
Ingredients
3-4 whole pitas (white or wheat, don't matta which)
1/4 cup olive oil
1 Tsp coarse salt
1/4 tsp pepper
1/4 or 1/2 tsp garlic powder (1/2 tsp is SUPER garlicky... so beware)
1/4 tsp onion powder
dash cayenne pepper (optional)
Ovens
1. Preheat to 425F
Peetahh
1. cut all your pita into bite sized pieces (or as small as you can and still fit it all on the baking sheet)
2. mix oil, salt, peppers and powders in a large ziplock bag
3. dump cut up pita into the ziplock and gently toss pita to coat with oil mix
4. arrange oiled pitas in a single layer on a baking sheet
5. bake for 10 -15 mins or until crisp
Variations
cut back on salt and put in some grated Parmesan cheese
or
substitute coarse sugar and cinnamon for the salt and other spices for a sweet chip
Store in an airtight container and if they get a little stale you can chuck them in a toaster oven for a few mins and they'll crisp up again.
*Please mentally flip the first !, I don't know how to do it... or if you're dyslexic don't worry, it's just right.
**Sounds all professional-like... wtf do I know about food!? Nothing. So you should keep that in mind.
***No. 12 gun salute is not a euphemism for farts.
!NO MAS!*
On the flip side, I can make the stuff Mister doesn't like to eat. Last night I had fettuccine with artichokes, capers and anchovies. Sounds gross I know, but the anchovies sort of disappear when you cook them and it doesn't taste of fish, just sort of salty. A Grandparent makes this fantastic dish with onions and anchovies, the name sounds like "aleech" but I have no idea what the actual name is. All I know is it's tasty.
OH
I have news!
Me n' Mister got engaged. You know, officially with a ring and all that. It's now my pet. We've named the ring "Esme" because the layout of the gems suggests a bug perched on my hand. Well, that and we couldn't get an engagement puppy.
Anyway, he asked in D.C. and terrified some passers by. He went all Jersey on 'em "HEY. YOU HAVE TO WITNESS THIS. I'M ASKING HER TO MARRY ME." (I'm glad he'll be on my side during the zombieclypse.)
While in D.C., Mister reveals a mysterious observation about moi and we have some excellent dinners. And I mean excellent.
My fave:
La Taberna del Alabardero.
If you have money go here, if you need to save money like ourselves, do it and go. Imagine a high ceilinged, comfortably red walled, white trimmed harem tent lit with candles. Think sumptuous but not over the top, potted plants, tasteful decor... That's kind of what the room looked like. The place has only about 20 tables and a small menu but it's well thought out. Has the standard tapas, paellas, jamons and some items interesting items not seen on every menu.
We shared a Serrano ham and cheese appetizer, I had a dry red wine that made the ham taste a little like blood. Sounds odd but it was pretty good. The wine pairings were my favorite part, helped me shut up and enjoy the various tastes everything produces together.
For main course I had venison with grilled asparagus and an apple type chutney with some fruit puree... we think it was maybe apricot and apple but not too sure. I could probably find the menu online but I'm lazy. You look it up. The venison was perfectly seasoned, not over cooked and was tender and succulent. Really, the way the meat was cooked was a revelation. I understood the apple stuff, berries and apples really go well with bambi but I was slightly confused about the asparagus... seemed a little arbitrary.**
Mister had braised oxtail with a potato thing and some veggies. It too was delish. (Yes, we're uncouth and share our dishes in a $$$$ restaurant.)
For dessert we shared a cake soaked in wine with coconut white chocolate sauce and berries. Something along those lines. Mister loved it, I liked it but I think there was a little too much going on so I can't give it the DPO 12 gun salute***. If we were to go back, I would probably holla at the choco souffle.
Mister's mystery (please note this is not verbatim, just the gist of what was said):
M: "I don't understand it. I've been trying to figure it out but I can't."
DPO: "What's that?"
M:"Older Spanish men LOVE you."
DPO:"Ummmmm. What?"
M:"They do!! Every where we go, they find you and they fawn all over you. They LOVE YOU. It's so weird."
DPO:"Thanks."
M:"NO! I mean I get why they like you. I like you. But these men light up around you more than anyone else around. Why is that?"
DPO:"I'm telepathic but only in Spanish? I have no idea. Maybe because I smile with my whole face."
M:" We could probably go to Cuba and you'd own the country after a week."
DPO:"How do we get there?"
I'm pretty sure it's one of 2 reasons: because DPO Sr. looks like Cardinal-Infante Ferdinand and I look like my Pops.
or
I look like a deer and when not at work or around small children, I have the mouth of a demon.
Remember: Sass will get you everywhere.
I'll let you know if the Cuban takeover happens but in the meantime try making this tasty snicky-snack.
Garlic Pita Chips
Ingredients
3-4 whole pitas (white or wheat, don't matta which)
1/4 cup olive oil
1 Tsp coarse salt
1/4 tsp pepper
1/4 or 1/2 tsp garlic powder (1/2 tsp is SUPER garlicky... so beware)
1/4 tsp onion powder
dash cayenne pepper (optional)
Ovens
1. Preheat to 425F
Peetahh
1. cut all your pita into bite sized pieces (or as small as you can and still fit it all on the baking sheet)
2. mix oil, salt, peppers and powders in a large ziplock bag
3. dump cut up pita into the ziplock and gently toss pita to coat with oil mix
4. arrange oiled pitas in a single layer on a baking sheet
5. bake for 10 -15 mins or until crisp
Variations
cut back on salt and put in some grated Parmesan cheese
or
substitute coarse sugar and cinnamon for the salt and other spices for a sweet chip
Store in an airtight container and if they get a little stale you can chuck them in a toaster oven for a few mins and they'll crisp up again.
*Please mentally flip the first !, I don't know how to do it... or if you're dyslexic don't worry, it's just right.
**Sounds all professional-like... wtf do I know about food!? Nothing. So you should keep that in mind.
***No. 12 gun salute is not a euphemism for farts.
26 March, 2010
Random Hair Theory of Chocolate Ganache
How long is the flight to Beijing? 22 hours? Probably something ridiculous like that. I'm sure there's a whole debate over which direction you fly changes the hourage and all that. Read Einstein peeps, time is relative. Is is morning or night when you get there? Well, that's what time it is then. I think E's theory is more of a fact. Five minutes to a 5 year old is REALLY long, but to a 30 year old it's much less and I imagine to an 80 year old, it's fleeting. Why? Because percentage-wise 5 minutes is a greater amount of a 5 year old's life than to an 80 year old.
Well, I'm going... you know, to Beijing... at some point. Actually it doesn't have to be Beijing, I'm not picky, I'm sure I'd dig Shanghai as well
Sometime I need to cut my hairs. My hair has now reached the length where it gets stuck in my armpits while I'm trying to do things and pulls. Merf. I will say long hair isn't that bad around babies. They seem to like to grab chubby handfuls and just sort of hang on (tiny monkeys) but if it's long enough mini-peeps can also yank on it and it doesn't hurt. It's the slightly longer than shoulder length hair that's the worst with babies. There's your fyi for today.
Where did the phrase 'wild hair up his ass' come from? Do short haired people ever even HAVE this problem? Get back to me...
The clay figure I was working on has been demolished and recycled. I've given in and will opt for proper procedure as opposed to being frustrated. I was pretty much done roughing out the figure but starting over is the beauty of clay. I did make 2 cute little boxes. They look like seed pods. Yes. Cute. Now, shut it.
Random: fistulated* cows gross me right the fuck out. I'm sure the cows have no idea, no pain and it's safe blah blah blah. All I can imagine are alien experiments on me and I don't want a porthole in my side. I wonder if they eat the cows when their race has run. For that matter, do aliens eat people when they're done? Guess it would depend on if they're vegetarians.
huh.
Anyway, a while back (in relative terms) I said I would post this ganache recipe, so here 'tis:
Chocolate Ganache (aka Frosting)
16 oz semi-sweet chocolate
1 cup heavy cream
2Tbsp sugar
2 Tbsp light corn syrup
1/2 stick (1/4 cup) unsalted butter
dash of salt
We Heats It, Precious
1. over low heat, bring cream, sugar and corn syrup to almost a boil
2.Remove from heat, pour over chocolate and whisk until melted and combined
3. Cut butter into small pieces and whisk in until all butter is melted and ganache is smooth and glossy
4. Dump it over a cake for a glossy finish or stick it in fridge and use it like frosting later
*insert tiny dry heave noise here
Well, I'm going... you know, to Beijing... at some point. Actually it doesn't have to be Beijing, I'm not picky, I'm sure I'd dig Shanghai as well
Sometime I need to cut my hairs. My hair has now reached the length where it gets stuck in my armpits while I'm trying to do things and pulls. Merf. I will say long hair isn't that bad around babies. They seem to like to grab chubby handfuls and just sort of hang on (tiny monkeys) but if it's long enough mini-peeps can also yank on it and it doesn't hurt. It's the slightly longer than shoulder length hair that's the worst with babies. There's your fyi for today.
Where did the phrase 'wild hair up his ass' come from? Do short haired people ever even HAVE this problem? Get back to me...
The clay figure I was working on has been demolished and recycled. I've given in and will opt for proper procedure as opposed to being frustrated. I was pretty much done roughing out the figure but starting over is the beauty of clay. I did make 2 cute little boxes. They look like seed pods. Yes. Cute. Now, shut it.
Random: fistulated* cows gross me right the fuck out. I'm sure the cows have no idea, no pain and it's safe blah blah blah. All I can imagine are alien experiments on me and I don't want a porthole in my side. I wonder if they eat the cows when their race has run. For that matter, do aliens eat people when they're done? Guess it would depend on if they're vegetarians.
huh.
Anyway, a while back (in relative terms) I said I would post this ganache recipe, so here 'tis:
Chocolate Ganache (aka Frosting)
16 oz semi-sweet chocolate
1 cup heavy cream
2Tbsp sugar
2 Tbsp light corn syrup
1/2 stick (1/4 cup) unsalted butter
dash of salt
We Heats It, Precious
1. over low heat, bring cream, sugar and corn syrup to almost a boil
2.Remove from heat, pour over chocolate and whisk until melted and combined
3. Cut butter into small pieces and whisk in until all butter is melted and ganache is smooth and glossy
4. Dump it over a cake for a glossy finish or stick it in fridge and use it like frosting later
*insert tiny dry heave noise here
24 March, 2010
Beer Battered Cod
Not too much yammering today, I'm distracted.
Quite possibly it's the full-leaded coffee coursing through my body- that tends to make any DPO coherence less likely than on normal days. I'm sure it's like trying to decern the request of some hopped-up rave kid trying to get a bottle of water, clattering their jaw and jerking all over the place.
If you've never seen this, don't worry, you're not missing much.
It's also really nice out and I don't want to be inside... ho hum It's like a fourth of July when it rains. Meh.
Which brings to mind Rocket pops, clam fritters and fish n' chips. While I've yet to find anywhere outside N.E. that does fritters, there's a place around here that does fish and chips really well. It's in fact some of the better I've had.
So here's a recipe for poofy fish sticks.
I like cod but I imagine any firm fish will work... haddock or whatevs
Beer Battered Cod*
1lb cod cut into large chunks (or 1 fillet cut in half for 2 servings)
1 bottle or can of beer (approx 12 oz)
2 cup flour
1 tbspn baking powder
1 tsp salt
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper (optional)
cornstarch for dredging
Oil (I used canola and olive)
Batter
1. Whisk together flour, powder, salt, cayenne and beer until smooth
2. Put in fridge for at least 15 mins
Prepare Oil
1. Dump oil into a pan large and deep enough to accommodate your fish pieces (works best when you fry in small batches)
2. Heat oil to 325-350F
Fry the Squish
1. Cut fish into sizes you want (larger pieces = less battery fish which I recommend) Rinse them and pat dry
2. coat fish pieces with cornstarch and shake off any excess
3. Dunk dredged fish into cold batter then immediately place into hot oil
4. Batter will poof up and fish will float
5. Cook on both sides until golden brown
6. Set aside fish pieces on paper towels (or clean brown paper bag/newspaper)
7. sprinkle hot fish blobs with salt (optional)
I like my pieces with vinegar but serve as you wish, it's your table.
*As an indicator for picky people who generally don't like fish, Mister gave this recipe 4 out of 5 ketchup bottles (only peanut butter chocolate brownies ever get 5 of 5).
Quite possibly it's the full-leaded coffee coursing through my body- that tends to make any DPO coherence less likely than on normal days. I'm sure it's like trying to decern the request of some hopped-up rave kid trying to get a bottle of water, clattering their jaw and jerking all over the place.
If you've never seen this, don't worry, you're not missing much.
It's also really nice out and I don't want to be inside... ho hum It's like a fourth of July when it rains. Meh.
Which brings to mind Rocket pops, clam fritters and fish n' chips. While I've yet to find anywhere outside N.E. that does fritters, there's a place around here that does fish and chips really well. It's in fact some of the better I've had.
So here's a recipe for poofy fish sticks.
I like cod but I imagine any firm fish will work... haddock or whatevs
Beer Battered Cod*
1lb cod cut into large chunks (or 1 fillet cut in half for 2 servings)
1 bottle or can of beer (approx 12 oz)
2 cup flour
1 tbspn baking powder
1 tsp salt
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper (optional)
cornstarch for dredging
Oil (I used canola and olive)
Batter
1. Whisk together flour, powder, salt, cayenne and beer until smooth
2. Put in fridge for at least 15 mins
Prepare Oil
1. Dump oil into a pan large and deep enough to accommodate your fish pieces (works best when you fry in small batches)
2. Heat oil to 325-350F
Fry the Squish
1. Cut fish into sizes you want (larger pieces = less battery fish which I recommend) Rinse them and pat dry
2. coat fish pieces with cornstarch and shake off any excess
3. Dunk dredged fish into cold batter then immediately place into hot oil
4. Batter will poof up and fish will float
5. Cook on both sides until golden brown
6. Set aside fish pieces on paper towels (or clean brown paper bag/newspaper)
7. sprinkle hot fish blobs with salt (optional)
I like my pieces with vinegar but serve as you wish, it's your table.
*As an indicator for picky people who generally don't like fish, Mister gave this recipe 4 out of 5 ketchup bottles (only peanut butter chocolate brownies ever get 5 of 5).
23 March, 2010
Spice Muffins and some websites
EUREKA!
I have it: The perfect light, floofy, not too sweet muffin recipe.
I love muffins. (tee hee) They're almost in the cake category for me but not quite. There's a coffee joint I go to sometimes that serves free steroidal muffins with the purchase of a large coffee. AND they're good. Probably because each muffin contains the equivalent of 1 cup of butter but mmm mmm bee-yotch! I've been experimenting with recipe ratios and I think I've found one I like. Now I share it with you.
Wait! Speaking of muffins, brings something to mind. I'm a fan of this website: www.zeldalily.com it's a blog that discusses feminist issues and the political ridiculousness of our great USofA. A lot of the comments are amusing. A few of my friends may not be in agreeance with it's liberal* take on life, however, I am. Consider yourselves warned.
OO! Props to the Sha for pointing this one out to me: www.regretsy.com It highlights some of the more interesting bits of etsy.com -which can be a fantastic place for finding handmade shtuff. But. Anyone can sell their "art" and it gets a little weird from time to time.
(I do love the etsy spelling mistakes, and on regretsy there are categories named Dead Things and Holistic Horseshit. *giggle*)
Let's see what else has been going on
1. Saturday was pretty much perfect weather. I planted a few types of lettuce, spinach, bokchoy and a crap load of herbs. Now my mini patio is covered with cheap plastic containers and dirt. In case you need to know, perlite + eyes = sore eyes for a day.
2. Alice in Wonderland was amusing. I liked the March Hare.
3. Started a small clay figure for an eventual bronze but I might start it again with a more stable armature... it's legs cracked near the ankles. Leave it to me to think half-assed will work. Merf.
4. I still like Vampire Weekend. Because really, who gives a fuck about the Oxford comma?
5. Nephew informed me (quite astutely and with a look of utter contempt) that the Doctor's office hurts. His stitches are out and is healing well.
6. Keep all fingers and sundry crossed that Mister will score some job interviews. Particularly with one that includes international travel. It sounds killer and I know he'd be very good at it.
Ok, on to the goods:
Ingredients
Base for muffins:
2 1/2 cups flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt (optional)
1/2 cup sugar
1 1/2 cup buttermilk
2 eggs
2/3 cup vegetable oil
Added stuff that makes it spiced:
1 tsp vanilla
1 1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp ground ginger
dash nutmeg
Ovenstuff
1. preheat oven to 400F
2. grease 12 baking cups or line with muffin papers
Sift
1. Sift flour, powder, soda, spices and salt (optional) into a large bowl
2. set aside
Mix liquids
1. Beat 2 eggs, vanilla, and milk together
2. while beating, slowly drizzle in oil until all of the oil is well combined
3. add sugar and mix it in until it's sort of dissolved (doesn't have to be totally dissolved)
The 1, 2 Combination
1. make a well in the middle of your sifted flour mix
2. dump in all liquid mix
3. stir it around until just combined - you want to see lumps and some unmixed bits of flour stuff
4. fill up your muffin tin (they'll rise over the top and make good crowns)
Bake
1. bake in 400F oven for about 20 minutes or until golden brown and cake tester comes out dry
Variations
This is a pretty basic muffin recipe, you can fold in random crap- nuts, choco chips, fruit bits when you combine the liquid and dry
Switch buttermilk for regular milk- works fine
I substituted juice and zest of 2 medium lemons and 1 cup of Greek yoghurt for the milk and omitted the spices and made some pretty tasty lemon muffins... play around with it, you can make some killer** combos
*bye bye friends, it was nice knowing you...
** that's the 2nd use of this word in a single post, my apologies
I have it: The perfect light, floofy, not too sweet muffin recipe.
I love muffins. (tee hee) They're almost in the cake category for me but not quite. There's a coffee joint I go to sometimes that serves free steroidal muffins with the purchase of a large coffee. AND they're good. Probably because each muffin contains the equivalent of 1 cup of butter but mmm mmm bee-yotch! I've been experimenting with recipe ratios and I think I've found one I like. Now I share it with you.
Wait! Speaking of muffins, brings something to mind. I'm a fan of this website: www.zeldalily.com it's a blog that discusses feminist issues and the political ridiculousness of our great USofA. A lot of the comments are amusing. A few of my friends may not be in agreeance with it's liberal* take on life, however, I am. Consider yourselves warned.
OO! Props to the Sha for pointing this one out to me: www.regretsy.com It highlights some of the more interesting bits of etsy.com -which can be a fantastic place for finding handmade shtuff. But. Anyone can sell their "art" and it gets a little weird from time to time.
(I do love the etsy spelling mistakes, and on regretsy there are categories named Dead Things and Holistic Horseshit. *giggle*)
Let's see what else has been going on
1. Saturday was pretty much perfect weather. I planted a few types of lettuce, spinach, bokchoy and a crap load of herbs. Now my mini patio is covered with cheap plastic containers and dirt. In case you need to know, perlite + eyes = sore eyes for a day.
2. Alice in Wonderland was amusing. I liked the March Hare.
3. Started a small clay figure for an eventual bronze but I might start it again with a more stable armature... it's legs cracked near the ankles. Leave it to me to think half-assed will work. Merf.
4. I still like Vampire Weekend. Because really, who gives a fuck about the Oxford comma?
5. Nephew informed me (quite astutely and with a look of utter contempt) that the Doctor's office hurts. His stitches are out and is healing well.
6. Keep all fingers and sundry crossed that Mister will score some job interviews. Particularly with one that includes international travel. It sounds killer and I know he'd be very good at it.
Ok, on to the goods:
Ingredients
Base for muffins:
2 1/2 cups flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt (optional)
1/2 cup sugar
1 1/2 cup buttermilk
2 eggs
2/3 cup vegetable oil
Added stuff that makes it spiced:
1 tsp vanilla
1 1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp ground ginger
dash nutmeg
Ovenstuff
1. preheat oven to 400F
2. grease 12 baking cups or line with muffin papers
Sift
1. Sift flour, powder, soda, spices and salt (optional) into a large bowl
2. set aside
Mix liquids
1. Beat 2 eggs, vanilla, and milk together
2. while beating, slowly drizzle in oil until all of the oil is well combined
3. add sugar and mix it in until it's sort of dissolved (doesn't have to be totally dissolved)
The 1, 2 Combination
1. make a well in the middle of your sifted flour mix
2. dump in all liquid mix
3. stir it around until just combined - you want to see lumps and some unmixed bits of flour stuff
4. fill up your muffin tin (they'll rise over the top and make good crowns)
Bake
1. bake in 400F oven for about 20 minutes or until golden brown and cake tester comes out dry
Variations
This is a pretty basic muffin recipe, you can fold in random crap- nuts, choco chips, fruit bits when you combine the liquid and dry
Switch buttermilk for regular milk- works fine
I substituted juice and zest of 2 medium lemons and 1 cup of Greek yoghurt for the milk and omitted the spices and made some pretty tasty lemon muffins... play around with it, you can make some killer** combos
*bye bye friends, it was nice knowing you...
** that's the 2nd use of this word in a single post, my apologies
17 March, 2010
Citrus sinensis Pecunia, Pecunium? Who the hell knows, Latin is dead for a reason
Blarg-o-matic
I ate too much of this GIGANTOR orange.
It was just so good.
As I was eating too much GIGANTOR orange, I was wondering about the orange and how it got to me. Does this orange bemoan its fate? Does it wish it had made more of an effort in college, perhaps signing up for the 2 year program in Italy instead of one semester? Would I give a rat's ass even if it did? Somehow I think if I can eat an adorable rabbit and wear its furred skin as wonderfully soft mittens then I could eat chomp down one regretful orange.
Speaking of oranges.
Ok you weren't, but I was. Am... At Christmas time one year, my crafty Mother stuck a bunch of cloves into a few oranges, gave them as gifts and gave yours truly an history lesson. She explained how valuable both cloves and oranges used to be... and also how she'd never do that again because who knew dried whole cloves are tipped with x-acto blades?
Point, DPO, Point.
Right, I was wondering where the nearest orangery and uh... clovery? would be after the zombies come and start the end of humanity. I'm going to need to keep the scurfy in check and I also think items such as these will be the new currency. Along with tins of heavy syrup peaches...
mmmm peaches
Today's recipe: Kasha
What the hell is kasha you say?
It's a delectable mix of bulgar wheat (aka kasha), squishy bowtie noodles and onion. Some peeps put mushrooms in it which I like but Mister thinks that mushrooms = poison.
And he may have a point...
"Why did you push Mister down the stairs, DPO?"
"Because he wouldn't eat his mushrooms."
Ingredients
1 large onion
1 cup bulgar wheat (kasha)
2 cups low salt chicken broth
1/2 lb of farfalle cooked
1 egg
1 Tbspn butter
1 tsp kosher salt (optional)
Kashinator, Noodlenator* and Onions
1. Mix 1 cup kasha with 1 egg and dry fry in a pan on LOW heat until kasha is dry and smells nutty
2. Add 2 cups broth, cover and remove from heat
3. set aside
4. cook farfalle until done
5. drain, rinse and set aside
6. Chop onion into bite sized pieces and saute in butter until caramelized
7. set onion aside
Assemble and Bake
1. Pre-heat oven to 350F
2. In a large bowl, stir together onions, kasha and noodles and 1 tsp salt (optional)
3. dump into a greased 9x13 baking dish
4. bake at 350F for about 30 mins (this makes some of the noodles delightfully** crunchy)
*noodlenator? that's horrible
**Yes. It's a friggin' delight.
I ate too much of this GIGANTOR orange.
It was just so good.
As I was eating too much GIGANTOR orange, I was wondering about the orange and how it got to me. Does this orange bemoan its fate? Does it wish it had made more of an effort in college, perhaps signing up for the 2 year program in Italy instead of one semester? Would I give a rat's ass even if it did? Somehow I think if I can eat an adorable rabbit and wear its furred skin as wonderfully soft mittens then I could eat chomp down one regretful orange.
Speaking of oranges.
Ok you weren't, but I was. Am... At Christmas time one year, my crafty Mother stuck a bunch of cloves into a few oranges, gave them as gifts and gave yours truly an history lesson. She explained how valuable both cloves and oranges used to be... and also how she'd never do that again because who knew dried whole cloves are tipped with x-acto blades?
Point, DPO, Point.
Right, I was wondering where the nearest orangery and uh... clovery? would be after the zombies come and start the end of humanity. I'm going to need to keep the scurfy in check and I also think items such as these will be the new currency. Along with tins of heavy syrup peaches...
mmmm peaches
Today's recipe: Kasha
What the hell is kasha you say?
It's a delectable mix of bulgar wheat (aka kasha), squishy bowtie noodles and onion. Some peeps put mushrooms in it which I like but Mister thinks that mushrooms = poison.
And he may have a point...
"Why did you push Mister down the stairs, DPO?"
"Because he wouldn't eat his mushrooms."
Ingredients
1 large onion
1 cup bulgar wheat (kasha)
2 cups low salt chicken broth
1/2 lb of farfalle cooked
1 egg
1 Tbspn butter
1 tsp kosher salt (optional)
Kashinator, Noodlenator* and Onions
1. Mix 1 cup kasha with 1 egg and dry fry in a pan on LOW heat until kasha is dry and smells nutty
2. Add 2 cups broth, cover and remove from heat
3. set aside
4. cook farfalle until done
5. drain, rinse and set aside
6. Chop onion into bite sized pieces and saute in butter until caramelized
7. set onion aside
Assemble and Bake
1. Pre-heat oven to 350F
2. In a large bowl, stir together onions, kasha and noodles and 1 tsp salt (optional)
3. dump into a greased 9x13 baking dish
4. bake at 350F for about 30 mins (this makes some of the noodles delightfully** crunchy)
*noodlenator? that's horrible
**Yes. It's a friggin' delight.
09 March, 2010
Sledding for Carrots... and more Cake
As a 9 year old in the northeast I liked, nay, I loved to go sledding and would do so at any opportunity. A quarter inch of snow on the ground? Count me in! The dog poo I was supposed to pick up but didn't will help me with the sweet jump I built out of a couple of logs of firewood and an old stop sign!! What could go wrong? (I'm sure I was irritating enough for my parents to want to shove me out in the cold and hope hypothermia sets in so I'll just sit down and be quiet for 10 minutes. )
The school I went to was in a mini-valley with steep hillsides on two sides of the playground. These were some primo sledding hills. However being a Catholic school and me being in the possession of a vagina I had to wear a skirt so the recess sledding was not in the works por moi. Then the loveliest thing of all happened. The school decided to allow anyone who wore ski-pants* to school to put them on at recess and have at it. WOOT!!
Exciting Conclusion:
My friend Allie (who I still look for... she was a Navy kid) accidentally knocked me down and I bit through my bottom lip (I still have a mini scar).
What took us down this memory lane? Nephew fell on the playground and had to get 2 stitches in his bottom lip. Poor guy... He seems to, unfortunately, take after his GrandpaDPO and the DPO in the grace department. I'm buying that kid a helmet and kevlar suit.
Today I have a recipe for the best way to eat carrots- in the form of cake. For those who don't care for the taste of the carrot, this recipe is for you because you can't even taste carrot. It's just sort of in there...
Fun facts about carrots:
1. Greeks seem to be responsible for starting the whole eating carrots will help your eyesight thing. What a bunch of smarties those ancients were.**
2. Actually it was probably the Afghans that found this out but they didn't announce it to the world because carrots are thought to have originated from the Afghanistan area...
3. You should all be aware, there are carrot museums in the UK and Belgium. Now go visit them.
4. The world's longest carrot was about 19 feet long.
Ridiculous.
Into this cake, you may put in raisins and nuts if you want to but I don't. Cooked raisins remind me of bloated ticks. Sure they taste fine but I still have a hard time getting the thought of those giant ticks stuck to Ralphie out of my head. And now you may too, don't thank me for the imagery... it's my pleasure.
I don't use applesauce or any of that crap (although it does work well). The original recipe I found called for a BOAT load of oil.
Yes, an entire Frigate hold of oil.
But lucky for you, I've cut down the oil to a point where it still keeps the cake moist but isn't as much...
What I'm saying here is that this is not a "light" cake or low-fat or any of that.
It's a friggin' cake.
It's delicious, eat it.
Ingredients
2 1/2 cup of grated carrots (little less than a 1lb bag)
2 cups All purpose flour
1 tsp baking soda
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1 1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp ginger
1/4 tsp nutmeg
dash of pepper or cayenne pepper (optional)
4 eggs
1 1/2 cup sugar
3/4 cup vegetable oil (make sure your oil is fresh otherwise your cake will taste sort of rancid or plastic-y)
2 tsp vanilla
1/2 cup toasted chopped walnuts (optional)
1/2 cup raisins (optional)
The Set Up
1. Grate your carrots, don't grate your fingers.
2. Squish out as much carrot juice as possible
3. set aside
4. Sift together flour, soda, powder, salt and spices and set aside
Oven stuff
1. Preheat oven to 350F
2. Put the parchment paper circles in the bottoms of your pan(s), and grease the sides (I used 2, 9" round baking tins)
Combinaciones
1. In a large bowl, beat 4 eggs until they're a little frothy (about immediately after you turn on mixer)
2. Add 1 1/2 cups sugar to eggs and beat until it turns pale yellow and the sugar is mostly dissolved
3. Slowly add in 3/4 cup oil mixing the entire time
4. Add in vanilla
5. Add sifted ingredients and stir until just combined (batter will be lumpy)
6. Fold in carrots and optional nuts/raisins
7. dump it into cake pans and bake for about 25-30 mins
8. Cool cakes on a rack before frosting with, what else...
Cream Cheese Frosting
8oz cream cheese
4 Tbspn butter
2 cups powdered sugar
1. Whip all ingredients together, stick it in fridge until cakes cool
2. Frost cake
3. Give half of cake to sister and her family so you don't eat it all
Please Note: If you use fat free cream cheese (it was all I had at the time), the frosting turns into more of a glaze...
__________________________________________________________________
*Yes, ski-pants are worn OVER the skirt and kneesocks. (And shorts are worn UNDER the skirt- it gets drafty and some boys take any opportunity to look up your dress.)
**Another fun fact about the Ancient Greeks, they're reputed to have had a glass/ceramic dildo making factory***
***Bet you weren't expecting that as a footnote.
The school I went to was in a mini-valley with steep hillsides on two sides of the playground. These were some primo sledding hills. However being a Catholic school and me being in the possession of a vagina I had to wear a skirt so the recess sledding was not in the works por moi. Then the loveliest thing of all happened. The school decided to allow anyone who wore ski-pants* to school to put them on at recess and have at it. WOOT!!
Exciting Conclusion:
My friend Allie (who I still look for... she was a Navy kid) accidentally knocked me down and I bit through my bottom lip (I still have a mini scar).
What took us down this memory lane? Nephew fell on the playground and had to get 2 stitches in his bottom lip. Poor guy... He seems to, unfortunately, take after his GrandpaDPO and the DPO in the grace department. I'm buying that kid a helmet and kevlar suit.
Today I have a recipe for the best way to eat carrots- in the form of cake. For those who don't care for the taste of the carrot, this recipe is for you because you can't even taste carrot. It's just sort of in there...
Fun facts about carrots:
1. Greeks seem to be responsible for starting the whole eating carrots will help your eyesight thing. What a bunch of smarties those ancients were.**
2. Actually it was probably the Afghans that found this out but they didn't announce it to the world because carrots are thought to have originated from the Afghanistan area...
3. You should all be aware, there are carrot museums in the UK and Belgium. Now go visit them.
4. The world's longest carrot was about 19 feet long.
Ridiculous.
Into this cake, you may put in raisins and nuts if you want to but I don't. Cooked raisins remind me of bloated ticks. Sure they taste fine but I still have a hard time getting the thought of those giant ticks stuck to Ralphie out of my head. And now you may too, don't thank me for the imagery... it's my pleasure.
I don't use applesauce or any of that crap (although it does work well). The original recipe I found called for a BOAT load of oil.
Yes, an entire Frigate hold of oil.
But lucky for you, I've cut down the oil to a point where it still keeps the cake moist but isn't as much...
What I'm saying here is that this is not a "light" cake or low-fat or any of that.
It's a friggin' cake.
It's delicious, eat it.
Ingredients
2 1/2 cup of grated carrots (little less than a 1lb bag)
2 cups All purpose flour
1 tsp baking soda
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1 1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp ginger
1/4 tsp nutmeg
dash of pepper or cayenne pepper (optional)
4 eggs
1 1/2 cup sugar
3/4 cup vegetable oil (make sure your oil is fresh otherwise your cake will taste sort of rancid or plastic-y)
2 tsp vanilla
1/2 cup toasted chopped walnuts (optional)
1/2 cup raisins (optional)
The Set Up
1. Grate your carrots, don't grate your fingers.
2. Squish out as much carrot juice as possible
3. set aside
4. Sift together flour, soda, powder, salt and spices and set aside
Oven stuff
1. Preheat oven to 350F
2. Put the parchment paper circles in the bottoms of your pan(s), and grease the sides (I used 2, 9" round baking tins)
Combinaciones
1. In a large bowl, beat 4 eggs until they're a little frothy (about immediately after you turn on mixer)
2. Add 1 1/2 cups sugar to eggs and beat until it turns pale yellow and the sugar is mostly dissolved
3. Slowly add in 3/4 cup oil mixing the entire time
4. Add in vanilla
5. Add sifted ingredients and stir until just combined (batter will be lumpy)
6. Fold in carrots and optional nuts/raisins
7. dump it into cake pans and bake for about 25-30 mins
8. Cool cakes on a rack before frosting with, what else...
Cream Cheese Frosting
8oz cream cheese
4 Tbspn butter
2 cups powdered sugar
1. Whip all ingredients together, stick it in fridge until cakes cool
2. Frost cake
3. Give half of cake to sister and her family so you don't eat it all
Please Note: If you use fat free cream cheese (it was all I had at the time), the frosting turns into more of a glaze...
__________________________________________________________________
*Yes, ski-pants are worn OVER the skirt and kneesocks. (And shorts are worn UNDER the skirt- it gets drafty and some boys take any opportunity to look up your dress.)
**Another fun fact about the Ancient Greeks, they're reputed to have had a glass/ceramic dildo making factory***
***Bet you weren't expecting that as a footnote.
08 March, 2010
BBQ type Marinade
A Monday haiku (5-7-5 version):
Sun is shining now.
Babaganouj, outdoor seat.
Eat lunch and relax.
It was sooooooooooo nice to sit outside with friend and have lunch today. I feel like I've been in a cave for... well, a few months at least. My skin also feels sun stung* and it is good.
Highlights from this weekend:
Friday I had a date with the Nephew. After the terror of having Mom leave him with some blue haired weirdo subsided, I taught him how to use the squirtgun and we had a chocolate cookie. My job as Auntie is complete for this month.
Made a pretty good carrot cake with no grated finger in it and grilled outside on Saturday. We also sat out at night smoking cigars and drinking with the neighbors briefly... Got to pet the neighbors snarfley boxer and give her a treat. I found the magic scratch spots so we're bff's now. My desire for a dog has been renewed.**
Sunday had the windows open for a little, got to play with Nephew and be reminded that I'm an out of shape Auntie. Pushing a less than 30 pounder around shouldn't be that tough... (must work on that)
I'm focused on the outside today so you get my cop-out recipe. Really, It's not because I forgot my recipe book and can't think of anything else right now.
Grilled bbq chicken breast
Marinade
Ingredients
1 cup ketchup
1/4 cup water
1 tbspn soy sauce
2 tbspn rice wine
2 cloves garlic smashed
pepper to taste
1. Whisk it all together
2. dump it in a ziplock with your chicken and let sit for 1 hour or overnight in fridge
We have one of those generic versions of a weber type round grill. The kind you dump a bunch of charcoal in, light it and forget it. Then an hour later you're thinking the grill smell in the air is delectable and that maybe you should grill something too. When you finally recall you already thought of this, congratulate yourself because now it's all heated up just right and you can get this show on the road cause dammit you're hungry!
I grilled 3 marinated split breasts (with bones) for 40 minutes on the outer ring of less intense heat, let meat sit for 10 minutes and it was pretty good... didn't dry out and had just enough extra taste to be interesting.
*Sun stung = the non-sunburn sunburn that is a result of your first sun filled outing that lasted at least an hour in full sun... Please note, freckles and skin cancer can kiss my ghostly undercarriage, I'm sitting in the sun today.
**No Sister, I'm sorry, I don't want JJ. He's a Sith lord and would destroy our furniture.
Sun is shining now.
Babaganouj, outdoor seat.
Eat lunch and relax.
It was sooooooooooo nice to sit outside with friend and have lunch today. I feel like I've been in a cave for... well, a few months at least. My skin also feels sun stung* and it is good.
Highlights from this weekend:
Friday I had a date with the Nephew. After the terror of having Mom leave him with some blue haired weirdo subsided, I taught him how to use the squirtgun and we had a chocolate cookie. My job as Auntie is complete for this month.
Made a pretty good carrot cake with no grated finger in it and grilled outside on Saturday. We also sat out at night smoking cigars and drinking with the neighbors briefly... Got to pet the neighbors snarfley boxer and give her a treat. I found the magic scratch spots so we're bff's now. My desire for a dog has been renewed.**
Sunday had the windows open for a little, got to play with Nephew and be reminded that I'm an out of shape Auntie. Pushing a less than 30 pounder around shouldn't be that tough... (must work on that)
I'm focused on the outside today so you get my cop-out recipe. Really, It's not because I forgot my recipe book and can't think of anything else right now.
Grilled bbq chicken breast
Marinade
Ingredients
1 cup ketchup
1/4 cup water
1 tbspn soy sauce
2 tbspn rice wine
2 cloves garlic smashed
pepper to taste
1. Whisk it all together
2. dump it in a ziplock with your chicken and let sit for 1 hour or overnight in fridge
We have one of those generic versions of a weber type round grill. The kind you dump a bunch of charcoal in, light it and forget it. Then an hour later you're thinking the grill smell in the air is delectable and that maybe you should grill something too. When you finally recall you already thought of this, congratulate yourself because now it's all heated up just right and you can get this show on the road cause dammit you're hungry!
I grilled 3 marinated split breasts (with bones) for 40 minutes on the outer ring of less intense heat, let meat sit for 10 minutes and it was pretty good... didn't dry out and had just enough extra taste to be interesting.
*Sun stung = the non-sunburn sunburn that is a result of your first sun filled outing that lasted at least an hour in full sun... Please note, freckles and skin cancer can kiss my ghostly undercarriage, I'm sitting in the sun today.
**No Sister, I'm sorry, I don't want JJ. He's a Sith lord and would destroy our furniture.
05 March, 2010
Super Stoked Choco-Cake
Two reasons for excitement:
1. The up arrow on my keyboard has started working again!! I pried off the key and cleaned that mother out and now it works again. Who knew?
2. MINI TRIP!!!
Mister came up with a brilliant idea to take a mini holiday to D.C. I'm so excited*. It was the perfect time for this plan because we're both ready to reenact War of the Roses. "That depends on what the pate is made from". (Check out the trailer on youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ebv3i_9Ltc . ) Work has been a bit stressful and of course it's March so it's allllllmost good weather but not quite yet. Thankfully we're both early tax filers so we have a tiny bit of play monies after paying off the ever present tarjeta de creditos. Meh. I hate credit cards. I wish they would institute the whole no cards issued to anyone under 21. You need plastic? Use a bank card. If this law was in place when I was 18 I wouldn't have been in as much debt as I was... of course I probably wouldn't have been able to afford the ramen either but I was in art school... isn't that the point? Starving artist and all?
By the way, this is not a myth or an exaggeration, artists and art students generally have no money because decent art supplies and all the tools you need to start (not to mention the price of really good paper) are unbelievably expensive. I don't know that I could estimate the amount of money I spent during 4 years on art supplies and tools. $6000 maybe? Some of the tools I still have... you only have to buy some items once and if you take care of them, they'll last indefinitely. So I guess you could call it an investment? P-shaw. Pretty sure this is why I'm a tool addict now. When I say addict I mean yes, I would steal $20 bucks out of your mom's purse to purchase a ball peen with a sweet grip. One of my dreams is to buy a nice sawsall and systematically demolish a house. Well, maybe not a house that smacks of performance art, let's say a sofa...
I imagine this addiction will lead to the time when I finally buy a fancy pants chef's knife. And by fancy pants I mean a carbon steel biznatch that I sharpen myself and no one is allowed to touch.
No.
One.
If I had the room (and money) I would eventually set up a super sweet kitchen, metal shop, pottery shop and wood shop and it would be wicked**. Of course, I might stretch myself a little thin when it comes to focus... but I could use ALL shops to create my Masterpiece***.
This cake recipe wasn't originally mine but I can't remember where I got it. It's a VERY rich cake and one year I think I make 8 of them as holiday gifts.
I use 2, 9" round baking tins for this recipe.
Ingredients
3 oz grated chocolate or choco chips (I like the fancy Swiss baking chocolate but you can use whatever you can afford)
1 1/2 cups hot coffee
3 cups sugar
2 1/2 cups all purpose flour
1 1/2 cup unsweet cocoa powder
2 tsp baking soda
3/4 tsp baking powder
1 1/4 tsp salt
3 large eggs
3/4 cup vegetable oil
1 1/2 cups buttermilk
3/4 tsp vanilla
Oven
1. Preheat to 300F
2. line bottoms of pans with parchment paper and grease sides and paper
Combinations du jour (uh... du cake)
1. dump hot coffee into a small bowl, add chocolate pieces stir occasionally until smooth, set aside
2. sift together flour, cocoa powder, sugar, baking soda, baking powder and salt set aside
3. in a large bowl mix eggs until slightly thick and lemon colored, slowly add oil, buttermilk, vanilla and chocolate/coffee mix and beat until well combined
4. slowly add in sifted ingredients and beat until just combined (batter will be a little lumpy)
Bakings and Quakings
1. Dump batter into pans in equal-ish amounts
2. Smack pans on the counter to release any giant bubbles
3. Bake until cake springs back when you touch the top about one hour to 1 1/2 hours
4. cool completely in the pans
5. frost and eat or just eat and shiver with chocolate fulfillment
*and no, I just can't hide it. And now you may smack me.
**pronounced "wick-it" and is generally paired with pisser (pronounced piss-ah)
***Not to be confused with Monsterpiece as in Monsterpiece Theater with Alistair Cookie
1. The up arrow on my keyboard has started working again!! I pried off the key and cleaned that mother out and now it works again. Who knew?
2. MINI TRIP!!!
Mister came up with a brilliant idea to take a mini holiday to D.C. I'm so excited*. It was the perfect time for this plan because we're both ready to reenact War of the Roses. "That depends on what the pate is made from". (Check out the trailer on youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ebv3i_9Ltc . ) Work has been a bit stressful and of course it's March so it's allllllmost good weather but not quite yet. Thankfully we're both early tax filers so we have a tiny bit of play monies after paying off the ever present tarjeta de creditos. Meh. I hate credit cards. I wish they would institute the whole no cards issued to anyone under 21. You need plastic? Use a bank card. If this law was in place when I was 18 I wouldn't have been in as much debt as I was... of course I probably wouldn't have been able to afford the ramen either but I was in art school... isn't that the point? Starving artist and all?
By the way, this is not a myth or an exaggeration, artists and art students generally have no money because decent art supplies and all the tools you need to start (not to mention the price of really good paper) are unbelievably expensive. I don't know that I could estimate the amount of money I spent during 4 years on art supplies and tools. $6000 maybe? Some of the tools I still have... you only have to buy some items once and if you take care of them, they'll last indefinitely. So I guess you could call it an investment? P-shaw. Pretty sure this is why I'm a tool addict now. When I say addict I mean yes, I would steal $20 bucks out of your mom's purse to purchase a ball peen with a sweet grip. One of my dreams is to buy a nice sawsall and systematically demolish a house. Well, maybe not a house that smacks of performance art, let's say a sofa...
I imagine this addiction will lead to the time when I finally buy a fancy pants chef's knife. And by fancy pants I mean a carbon steel biznatch that I sharpen myself and no one is allowed to touch.
No.
One.
If I had the room (and money) I would eventually set up a super sweet kitchen, metal shop, pottery shop and wood shop and it would be wicked**. Of course, I might stretch myself a little thin when it comes to focus... but I could use ALL shops to create my Masterpiece***.
This cake recipe wasn't originally mine but I can't remember where I got it. It's a VERY rich cake and one year I think I make 8 of them as holiday gifts.
I use 2, 9" round baking tins for this recipe.
Ingredients
3 oz grated chocolate or choco chips (I like the fancy Swiss baking chocolate but you can use whatever you can afford)
1 1/2 cups hot coffee
3 cups sugar
2 1/2 cups all purpose flour
1 1/2 cup unsweet cocoa powder
2 tsp baking soda
3/4 tsp baking powder
1 1/4 tsp salt
3 large eggs
3/4 cup vegetable oil
1 1/2 cups buttermilk
3/4 tsp vanilla
Oven
1. Preheat to 300F
2. line bottoms of pans with parchment paper and grease sides and paper
Combinations du jour (uh... du cake)
1. dump hot coffee into a small bowl, add chocolate pieces stir occasionally until smooth, set aside
2. sift together flour, cocoa powder, sugar, baking soda, baking powder and salt set aside
3. in a large bowl mix eggs until slightly thick and lemon colored, slowly add oil, buttermilk, vanilla and chocolate/coffee mix and beat until well combined
4. slowly add in sifted ingredients and beat until just combined (batter will be a little lumpy)
Bakings and Quakings
1. Dump batter into pans in equal-ish amounts
2. Smack pans on the counter to release any giant bubbles
3. Bake until cake springs back when you touch the top about one hour to 1 1/2 hours
4. cool completely in the pans
5. frost and eat or just eat and shiver with chocolate fulfillment
*and no, I just can't hide it. And now you may smack me.
**pronounced "wick-it" and is generally paired with pisser (pronounced piss-ah)
***Not to be confused with Monsterpiece as in Monsterpiece Theater with Alistair Cookie
22 February, 2010
Wait, who am I? (Lumpia or Tubby Tubas)
Yes, my diagram.
Blue = water
Brown/red= meat paste (sounds delectable no?)
Arrows point the direction folding
I feel like my brain went on vacation to Peru 3 years ago, was talked into attempting to smuggle drugs back to the US and got caught and is now... "Locked Up Abroad". Have you seen this show!!?? It makes me feel like I was MUCH less of an idiot than I was when I traveled abroad. Let's just say thank god for Kamini the first time I went. There was a 19 year old with a brain unlike yours truly.... props to the K because I was a first class moron riding coach. I cringe with shame when I think of how stupid I've been over the years. sigh... no regrets right? Uh... ummm ok. Does that count for stupid shit like stealing from your sister when you were 10? Cause really, it's stayed with me.
Merf.
I shall think upon this NO MORE. I'll just depress myself and it's pointless to make one's self sick about the past, yes? (Humour me.)
Moving On.
I have a few Q&A's
1. Why does the movie Mommy Dearest still freak me out? The first viewing was during an impressionable age. That and my closet was rife with wire hangers.
2.How did I ever become afraid of mysterious beings under the bed? I don't remember ever seeing anything awful under a bed. Aside from the cat eating a bird, that wasn't awful, just gross. Besides, no monsters would have fit under my bed. That's where I shoved all my toys when I "cleaned". I shudder to think of my room as a child. It was literally knee deep in places. I was terrified of E.T. living under my bed. I don't really get that. E.T.? Really? He was a lovable alien that just wanted to phone home. Somewhere along the way I eventually loved him. I even had an E.T. lunchbox and thermos. Maybe he was hiding under a bed in the movie? Not sure, but that's most likely where the fear came from... but it's such a universal fear. Kids all over the place have this fear. But then again kids from all over have beds... I need more information.
3. Why doesn't the up arrow on my keyboard work? It's seriously irritating. Almost as bad as the 'e' key not working (please see the book Misery to understand this reference. Dirty bird). I should really stop whining about it and exchange with a working one. Sigh
4. Is seasonal mood disorder real? I think maybe yes. I don't know about the whole get more sun thing but I do know that end of january/feb and most of March suck ass. It's more likely the lack of fresh air and being cooped up in the house for so long and no big holidays to break it up. American workers should really see about getting more mandatory days off a year. Ready workers? Let's GO!
BLAM
Oh right, doors slam in faces when we try to do that... banding together for the rights of all is a commie idea.
Man, I am in a mood today.
This weekend we got Dante's Inferno (video game) and it's disturbingly awesome. It is for adults and only for adults who don't scare easily and is an amazing gamer who can use all the buttons on the controller. F-ing jumping/swinging/bad guys trying to fry you. It IS hell. I'm not going to get into the whole dante's inferno game too much but if you enjoy dark imagery, it's for you. Is 'enjoy' the right word? I'm not sure what the right word would be. Really... it's a descent into various nightmarish levels of hell and it's quite gross in parts but it's still pretty cool. It's interspersed with quotes and characters from the book (your guide is Virgil) and it gets a lil' culture into them video game players. Huzzah!
Also got Spore Hero which is adorable.
What recipe to post... it's been over a week so I need to make it a good one. Oo, I know. The DPO version of Lumpia (Filipino/Indonesian eggrolls). I made the first batch when I worked in a factory with a particular gent from Laos. Originally got the recipe from Mr. Phet's wife (she also made killer coconut sticky rice). I think of Phet a lot, he was probably about 70 and is the master of putting together battery packs. He called me Sarge. At least I think he called me Sarge... he laughed a lot when he talked and had a heavy accent. He seemed to like me because I yelled at everyone to put their safety glasses on and actually did work without bitching about it. Phet also liked my Mom, but really how can you not like my Mother, she's easy to love and is one of the best peoples around. He also owned (owns?) a restaurant in New London that was pretty good. Thai Iced Tea. I need say nothing else.
So anyway, I originally dubbed my version of lumpia as Oompa Loompas but my bff at the time Marc said that might be copyright infringement so he named them:
Tubby Tubas
Ingredients
1 package of wonton wrappers (6x6 squares)
1 lb pork or chicken (boneless and lean)
1/2 onion chopped very fine
2 carrots or 10 baby carrots chopped very fine
1 tsp ginger
1 tsp garlic
1/4 c soy sauce
1/4 cup water
2 Tblspn oyster sauce
pepper to taste
canola oil for frying
Marinade your meat
1. mix soy sauce, oyster sauce, ginger, garlic and pepper
2. put meat and marinade in a ziplock bag (or bowl) and let sit for at least 1 hour
Make Filling
1. put meat in food processor (with marinade) and chop it until it resembles a paste
2. put in onion and carrots with the meat and zap it if the veggie bits are too large (you want small bits of carrot to be recognizable for and interesting texture)
Make your Tubas
1. place about 1 tbspn of filling onto a wrapper and roll into an eggroll shape using water to seal the edges (see diagram above)
2. repeat until you have all the rolls you want
Heat Oil and Fry
1. In a heavy pan put enough oil to cover the eggrolls entirely and heat until about 300F
2. Place a few rolls into the oil at a time and cook until golden outside and meat is completely cooked through (I would advise cutting the first one to be sure it's cooked thoroughly.)
3. drain rolls on paper towels or clean brown paper bags
eat 'em
19 February, 2010
Los Mo~F-in'~Jitos
Super Mario is a prick and I hope he goes to hell.
I've been playing video games for approximately 17 years (a somewhat conservative estimate). I'm not very good at them but I'm not that bad either. The Mister has been playing even longer and we both have turned into animals of pure rage because of this f-ing game. Mister has a LOT of patience and I saw him actually bite the controller*. I can say with definition that if a 5 year old dressed as Mario showed up at my door last night I would've punched him in the face.
I must beat this game before the descent into madness is complete. That and I reallllly want to get Dante's Inferno but we made a rule to not get another game before we complete the one we have... they're too expensive.
I have LMFAO's "shots" song stuck in my head. It's pretty awful in there today.
Also been thinking of what to do for my "container" garden this year... 2 years ago I built the "dirt coffin" on our patio. It wasn't actually a coffin (didn't want to scare the new neighbors right out of the gate) it was just a coffin sized box of dirt with a mosaic on it. My rose bushes blasted the grout and tiles off by the end of the year. I just didn't build it well enough. Which is fine cause I was getting tired of it but was a HORRIBLE experience to get rid of the damn thing. I almost decapitated one of those little blue lizards that live around here with a shovel. Poor guy... all nice and snugly in his cool dirt house and then BLAMMO!! here comes a shovel screwing it all up.
I'd also like to point out that this particular shovel was a lend from Sister and THAT, my friends, means trust. Sister doesn't lend her shovel to anyone. She's a shovel adept. No! She's a shovel High Mage. I think if it wouldn't get weird orange dirt stains all over her house, she'd sleep hugging that shovel. Well, she is an archaeologist after all...
Garbage Picker ;P
Where was I? Right! Container garden. I have lots of ideas but no monies so I need to think of a way to use stuff I already have and make it nice and not look like the dump is randomly sprouting rosemary and tomatoes.
I wonder if that happens... I mean random plants growing at the dump from discarded fruits. I imagine it would. I suppose I could be a dumplady and find out but then there's that whole finding discarded human heads potential and I just don't think my delicate sensibilities could handle it. I am a fairy princess.
heh heh heh
I could totally bury that mario game with a shovel at the dump. Just thinking about SM is making my blood pressure go up.
SM? Huh... makes sense
I think I need multiple Mojitos. Here's my fav recipe
Ingredients
1 half lime cut into chunks
3 mint sprigs roughly chopped
1 Tbspn sugar (I like using brown but any type will do)
1/3 cup cold club soda (or seltzer)
2 1/2 Tbspn coconut rum (or any rum for that matter)
Since I don't have any fancy pants masher thingy I just smash stuff in a cocktail shaker or bowl
1. put mint, lime and sugar into a container for which you can mix all stuff and easily pour into a glass
2. smash up limes/mint with a fork or hammer
(2.5. If you'd like a cold mojito, add ice to your glass)
3. pour in soda to lime mix
4. pour in rum to taste and stir it up
5. pour into glass, add tiny pirate sword**, consume, repeat from step 1. until you read bowl as blow or stab yourself in face with tiny pirate sword
*and then I laughed. A lot.
** please note tiny pirate sword fights are mandatory if there is more than one opposable thumbed being in the drink making area
I've been playing video games for approximately 17 years (a somewhat conservative estimate). I'm not very good at them but I'm not that bad either. The Mister has been playing even longer and we both have turned into animals of pure rage because of this f-ing game. Mister has a LOT of patience and I saw him actually bite the controller*. I can say with definition that if a 5 year old dressed as Mario showed up at my door last night I would've punched him in the face.
I must beat this game before the descent into madness is complete. That and I reallllly want to get Dante's Inferno but we made a rule to not get another game before we complete the one we have... they're too expensive.
I have LMFAO's "shots" song stuck in my head. It's pretty awful in there today.
Also been thinking of what to do for my "container" garden this year... 2 years ago I built the "dirt coffin" on our patio. It wasn't actually a coffin (didn't want to scare the new neighbors right out of the gate) it was just a coffin sized box of dirt with a mosaic on it. My rose bushes blasted the grout and tiles off by the end of the year. I just didn't build it well enough. Which is fine cause I was getting tired of it but was a HORRIBLE experience to get rid of the damn thing. I almost decapitated one of those little blue lizards that live around here with a shovel. Poor guy... all nice and snugly in his cool dirt house and then BLAMMO!! here comes a shovel screwing it all up.
I'd also like to point out that this particular shovel was a lend from Sister and THAT, my friends, means trust. Sister doesn't lend her shovel to anyone. She's a shovel adept. No! She's a shovel High Mage. I think if it wouldn't get weird orange dirt stains all over her house, she'd sleep hugging that shovel. Well, she is an archaeologist after all...
Garbage Picker ;P
Where was I? Right! Container garden. I have lots of ideas but no monies so I need to think of a way to use stuff I already have and make it nice and not look like the dump is randomly sprouting rosemary and tomatoes.
I wonder if that happens... I mean random plants growing at the dump from discarded fruits. I imagine it would. I suppose I could be a dumplady and find out but then there's that whole finding discarded human heads potential and I just don't think my delicate sensibilities could handle it. I am a fairy princess.
heh heh heh
I could totally bury that mario game with a shovel at the dump. Just thinking about SM is making my blood pressure go up.
SM? Huh... makes sense
I think I need multiple Mojitos. Here's my fav recipe
Ingredients
1 half lime cut into chunks
3 mint sprigs roughly chopped
1 Tbspn sugar (I like using brown but any type will do)
1/3 cup cold club soda (or seltzer)
2 1/2 Tbspn coconut rum (or any rum for that matter)
Since I don't have any fancy pants masher thingy I just smash stuff in a cocktail shaker or bowl
1. put mint, lime and sugar into a container for which you can mix all stuff and easily pour into a glass
2. smash up limes/mint with a fork or hammer
(2.5. If you'd like a cold mojito, add ice to your glass)
3. pour in soda to lime mix
4. pour in rum to taste and stir it up
5. pour into glass, add tiny pirate sword**, consume, repeat from step 1. until you read bowl as blow or stab yourself in face with tiny pirate sword
*and then I laughed. A lot.
** please note tiny pirate sword fights are mandatory if there is more than one opposable thumbed being in the drink making area
17 February, 2010
The Power of Rocking and Chocolate Pistachio Biscotti
Our alarm clock is set to the radio because the beeping is really not conducive to a peaceful waking. Granted, the screech of the latest 16 year old's heartrending tale sung to the tune of Frere Jacques (or whatever) does set one's teeth on edge but most mornings it's a good way to wake up. Such as this morning when I was awoken by the sheer power of rock. I actually started laughing, as I always do, because it was the Scorpions. Not for nothing, Klaus Meine has a serious set of pipes, these guys have been doing their thing for like 38 years and I love this band. No, it's love, pure love.
That being said, I always laugh when I hear them.
Why?
This answer is 4-fold.
1. Really... no really these songs hold no bad memories for me. In fact, I always associate Rock you like a hurricane with a particular carnival ride.
2. I became friends with a set of Albanians when living in Italy (I know.. I know...) and one of them attempted to woo me with a Scorpions song. I don't mean the actual song, he just spoke some of the lyrics. And really... it was his best English. I think he may actually have learned most of his English from Scorpions and Metallica (you know... aside from the necessaries like "you are a beautiful American woman be my wife"). I feel proud for introducing this particular person to Megadeath.
3. 38 years? Can that be right? That's longer than most marriages. These guys have staying power.
4. A band member's name is Lothar.
And now you know that I know wayyyyyyyyyyy too much about Scorpions and we shan't speak of it again.
Along the same lines as my love for a particular German band, I adore the library. I'm sure my parental units are responsible for this (along with a certain spectacular Auntie) and I thank them for it. I'm not quite to the Ray Bradbury level of library adoration but I'm pretty near to it. When the pocky-clypse happens (Membah This!!??*) I will hit up a library pretty soon after I collect my arms and munitions. (One must be prepared to defend thy books.) The county I live in has recently instituted downloadable audio books in our libraries and it's the best thing EVAR. I highly approve and have given it my official stamp of approval.
As an aside: If you have no idea what the Ray Bradbury reference means, check out this youtube clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EzD0YtbViCs it's a little long but I feel like Mr. Bradbury is responsible for running a section of my brain. One of my favorite things he says in this interview is "I saw the planet Mars and I said 'Take me HOME!' and it took me home and I've never come back" that and "I want a close up of the cat now". For those of you who've known me for a while you can see that yes, he is indeed manning the helm.
Some of the other youtube clips with him are rather odd/interesting too.
What goes better with reading than coffee and a biscotti?
Well yes, a beer does go quite nicely with a book.
Stop distracting me.
Ingredients
6 Tbspn unsalted butter softened
2 c all purpose flour
1/2 cup cocoa powder
1 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
1 cup sugar
2 eggs
1 cup pistachios
1/2 cup chocolate chips (the mini ones work well)
Preheation
1. pre-heat oven to 350F
2. grease and flour your baking sheet
Mixology
1. sift flour, cocoa, soda and salt together, set aside
2. cream butter and sugar until fluffy
3. add eggs to creamed mixture beat until combined
4. add flour mix a bit at a time until all is combined and it makes a stiff dough
5. fold in nuts and chips
The First Bake
1. On greased/floured sheet, Form dough into a flattened log
2. Bake until slightly firm (about 25 minutes)
The Second Bake
1. Take log out of oven and set aside for 5 minutes
2. Reduce your oven heat to 300F
3. cut your biscotti log into 1" thick slices and lay them flat onto the baking sheet
4. Bake slices until crisp (About 10 minutes)
If you like slightly chewy biscotti, cut them slightly thicker or cut the 2nd bake time. If you prefer cracker-like biscotti, cut them 1/2" inch.
*from the flick Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome, which needs to be seen for nothing else then you'll know the answer to the question "Who runs Bartertown?"
That being said, I always laugh when I hear them.
Why?
This answer is 4-fold.
1. Really... no really these songs hold no bad memories for me. In fact, I always associate Rock you like a hurricane with a particular carnival ride.
2. I became friends with a set of Albanians when living in Italy (I know.. I know...) and one of them attempted to woo me with a Scorpions song. I don't mean the actual song, he just spoke some of the lyrics. And really... it was his best English. I think he may actually have learned most of his English from Scorpions and Metallica (you know... aside from the necessaries like "you are a beautiful American woman be my wife"). I feel proud for introducing this particular person to Megadeath.
3. 38 years? Can that be right? That's longer than most marriages. These guys have staying power.
4. A band member's name is Lothar.
And now you know that I know wayyyyyyyyyyy too much about Scorpions and we shan't speak of it again.
Along the same lines as my love for a particular German band, I adore the library. I'm sure my parental units are responsible for this (along with a certain spectacular Auntie) and I thank them for it. I'm not quite to the Ray Bradbury level of library adoration but I'm pretty near to it. When the pocky-clypse happens (Membah This!!??*) I will hit up a library pretty soon after I collect my arms and munitions. (One must be prepared to defend thy books.) The county I live in has recently instituted downloadable audio books in our libraries and it's the best thing EVAR. I highly approve and have given it my official stamp of approval.
As an aside: If you have no idea what the Ray Bradbury reference means, check out this youtube clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EzD0YtbViCs it's a little long but I feel like Mr. Bradbury is responsible for running a section of my brain. One of my favorite things he says in this interview is "I saw the planet Mars and I said 'Take me HOME!' and it took me home and I've never come back" that and "I want a close up of the cat now". For those of you who've known me for a while you can see that yes, he is indeed manning the helm.
Some of the other youtube clips with him are rather odd/interesting too.
What goes better with reading than coffee and a biscotti?
Well yes, a beer does go quite nicely with a book.
Stop distracting me.
Ingredients
6 Tbspn unsalted butter softened
2 c all purpose flour
1/2 cup cocoa powder
1 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
1 cup sugar
2 eggs
1 cup pistachios
1/2 cup chocolate chips (the mini ones work well)
Preheation
1. pre-heat oven to 350F
2. grease and flour your baking sheet
Mixology
1. sift flour, cocoa, soda and salt together, set aside
2. cream butter and sugar until fluffy
3. add eggs to creamed mixture beat until combined
4. add flour mix a bit at a time until all is combined and it makes a stiff dough
5. fold in nuts and chips
The First Bake
1. On greased/floured sheet, Form dough into a flattened log
2. Bake until slightly firm (about 25 minutes)
The Second Bake
1. Take log out of oven and set aside for 5 minutes
2. Reduce your oven heat to 300F
3. cut your biscotti log into 1" thick slices and lay them flat onto the baking sheet
4. Bake slices until crisp (About 10 minutes)
If you like slightly chewy biscotti, cut them slightly thicker or cut the 2nd bake time. If you prefer cracker-like biscotti, cut them 1/2" inch.
*from the flick Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome, which needs to be seen for nothing else then you'll know the answer to the question "Who runs Bartertown?"
15 February, 2010
Recipe for d d d DEATH (and risotto con cipolla)
You knew this title would happen at some point.
We both did.
You may or may not be a person who has vivid dreams, I am. I always have been. I still remember bits of dreams from my childhood (good and bad). Last night was one of the top 10 worst dream snippets. It's still giving me the willies.
The Dream Snippet:
We both did.
You may or may not be a person who has vivid dreams, I am. I always have been. I still remember bits of dreams from my childhood (good and bad). Last night was one of the top 10 worst dream snippets. It's still giving me the willies.
The Dream Snippet:
I walked down a set of stairs into a communal shower room and when I stepped through the locker room door, the lights went out, I felt breathing on my neck and a man started to giggle as he slowly wrapped a wet towel around my neck to strangle me. I was unable to escape or defend myself in time (much like the hitting something but having no power).
I woke up with a blanket wrapped weird around me and the mister was softly snoring so I could logically determine all the sounds/feelings in this dream but I still couldn't make myself move for 45 minutes. If the schools of philosophy that purport dreams as the true reality and life as dreams are correct then I'm a death defying superhero who's nemeses are zombies, a marionette puppet with a long silver pin and now a large giggling man.
Ok, enough of this bullshit, time for subject change!
^shudder^
I'm not sure if it's the whole adulthood that's snuck up on me, the 2 year old repeater I'm around sometimes (FART!FART!) or if I'm tired of hearing the sighs of the righteous but I've been attempting to eliminate habitual swearing from my vocabulary. A pointless endeavor, I agree but it's something to do. I'd also like to point out the phrase "swear like a sailor" isn't really true. Sailors are usually quite polite. Of course, that may have be because I have tits and a vagine and they're out in society, who knows. What I do know is that swearing is just so satisfying sometimes...
I had a little thrill this morning. Not the good kind of thrill but the OMG THAT'S A GIANT ROACH kind. I was afraid that is was either heading for or coming from my pant cuff but no, it was sneaking across the floor. Gah. Sorry little dude, your number is up. We are calling my favorite lady to come get rid of allllll y'all.
Speaking of Thrill:
Intacto.
Watch it, even if you hate subtitles or thrillers.
Risotto con Cipolla (creamy rice with onions)
If you hate onions, cheese or both you can omit one or both and have a creamy chicken flavoured rice... it's not risotto without the cheese but whatevs, it's your damn kitchen right?
Ingredients
1/2 cup arborio rice (short grain rice)
3 cups chicken broth
2 tsp olive oil
1 Tbspn butter
1/2 cup grated Parmesan (optional)
1/2 cup diced onion (optional)
Cook It
1. Heat the broth in a small saucepan
2. On med-low heat in a medium sized saucepan 2 tsp olive oil, 1 Tbspn butter and 1/2 cup diced onion
3. When onion is translucent add 1/2 cup rice and stir around constantly until rice gets a little toasty looking
4. Add 1/2 cup warm broth and stir into rice
5. When almost all the liquid has been absorbed add another 1/2 cup of broth and continue until all broth has been added
6. when rice is tender and looks creamy (about 20 minutes) remove from heat and if you choose to use it, stir in 1/2 cup grated Parmesan
Done.
12 February, 2010
Hong Kong Fuey or Devil Dogs
Some days I feel like Patrick Bateman from American Psycho. Not that I want to shout "Hey Paul!" and smash an axe into someone's head (ok, you've got me, sometimes I think about it) but like a paranoid schizophrenic, I hear the wrong words a lot.
Such as this snippet from the coffee shop the other morning:
"I want your sex."
"Pardon?"
"I love your socks, where'd you get them"
"Oh! Target... check out the clearance section."
"Thanks!"
If you dig fictional serial killer books "American Psycho" is a good one. It's a little odd because the book is filled with brand name dropping and ultra focused on money and goods but that's the whole point of it. The movie version with Christian Bale is also pretty good. My favorite part is when he and his friends are mackin' on some models in a club and one lady asks him what he does and his answer is "Murders and Executions" and she replies back "Do you like it?".
Don't tell anyone, but people scare the crap out of me, maybe that's why I get sucked into these kinds of stories. Darkly Dreaming Dexter (yes, the book the tv show is based on) was pretty good too... a short read and somewhat vague in certain parts but that sort of behavior is a mystery to most of us so I can see why it was written that way.
Why am I thinking about this sort of thing.... I can't remember.
OH
Why are drawn hearts nothing like real hearts? Who made up the first heart symbol? Have your people check it out and get back to me ok? Thanks. I think I've finally figured out what I want to cover up my old tattoo with... another tattoo of a mechanical heart and/or gears and pipes. I need to contact a few artists and see what they can come up with. Why mechanics? Well, I am an automaton after all.
To get us all in the mood for weekend o' love, here's a recipe for devil dogs. It looks somewhat complicated but it's not bad. This one originated with my Grandmother O and they taste exactly like the store bought devil dogs. I feel like my family should sue.
Makes a billion little cakes.
So really it makes a half billion dogs
Also, I'm not really all here right now and the written recipe doesn't make sense so I might edit it again later on... thus ye be warned
Ingredients for Cake
2 cup flour
1 cup sugar
1/2 cup coacoa powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1 cup milk
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla
1/2 cup shortening
Ingredients for Filling
1 cup milk
3 Tbspn flour
1 cup sugar
1 cup shortening
1 stick unsalted butter
1 tsp vanilla
Directions for cake part
Such as this snippet from the coffee shop the other morning:
"I want your sex."
"Pardon?"
"I love your socks, where'd you get them"
"Oh! Target... check out the clearance section."
"Thanks!"
If you dig fictional serial killer books "American Psycho" is a good one. It's a little odd because the book is filled with brand name dropping and ultra focused on money and goods but that's the whole point of it. The movie version with Christian Bale is also pretty good. My favorite part is when he and his friends are mackin' on some models in a club and one lady asks him what he does and his answer is "Murders and Executions" and she replies back "Do you like it?".
Don't tell anyone, but people scare the crap out of me, maybe that's why I get sucked into these kinds of stories. Darkly Dreaming Dexter (yes, the book the tv show is based on) was pretty good too... a short read and somewhat vague in certain parts but that sort of behavior is a mystery to most of us so I can see why it was written that way.
Why am I thinking about this sort of thing.... I can't remember.
OH
Why are drawn hearts nothing like real hearts? Who made up the first heart symbol? Have your people check it out and get back to me ok? Thanks. I think I've finally figured out what I want to cover up my old tattoo with... another tattoo of a mechanical heart and/or gears and pipes. I need to contact a few artists and see what they can come up with. Why mechanics? Well, I am an automaton after all.
To get us all in the mood for weekend o' love, here's a recipe for devil dogs. It looks somewhat complicated but it's not bad. This one originated with my Grandmother O and they taste exactly like the store bought devil dogs. I feel like my family should sue.
Makes a billion little cakes.
So really it makes a half billion dogs
Also, I'm not really all here right now and the written recipe doesn't make sense so I might edit it again later on... thus ye be warned
Ingredients for Cake
2 cup flour
1 cup sugar
1/2 cup coacoa powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1 cup milk
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla
1/2 cup shortening
Ingredients for Filling
1 cup milk
3 Tbspn flour
1 cup sugar
1 cup shortening
1 stick unsalted butter
1 tsp vanilla
Directions for cake part
1. Preheat oven to 325F
2. grease and flour cookie sheets
3. sift dry ingredients together
4. mix all wet ingredients and shortening into dry ingredients and combine until smooth
5. drop batter blobs onto cookie sheet leaving space between each cake (they expand a bit) try to keep each blob about the same size and shape- these will be the tops and bottoms of your devil dogs
6. Bake for about 15 minutes or until cake tester comes out dry
7. Cool completely on a rack
Directions for filling
1. Make pudding base- on low heat stir together 1 cup milk and 3 tbspn flour, stirring constantly stir until thick and set this aside to cool completely
2. cream together 1 cup sugar, 1 cup shortening*, 1 stick butter , 1 tsp vanilla
3. add cooled milk stuff to creamed mix and stir very well
4. you can freeze any extra filling
make little sandwiches and eat
*shortening was listed as Oleo which took a google search then a phone call to the real expert- Me Mum
11 February, 2010
English Muffin Bread
I smashed my f-ing finger.
So's you know: I routinely injure myself in small ways, knife nicks, hot fat burns, gum stuck in my hair... it happens. There are few injuries that send my temper through the roof like a smash of the finger or a stub of the toe (which is really the same thing now that I think about it). AND I'm not allowed to yell or be loud in the kitchen ever since someone let off a huge fart in there and we realized you could hear it clear as day on the porch. The mister doesn't want anyone thinking he's some creepy abuser of the ladies. Whatevs, as if he could take me. I'd moid-e-lize him, I'd bite his kneecaps, I'd poke him in the bellybutton, I'd... I'd... probably throw a handful of sand in his face and run like hell.
I'm wee you see.
How did I smash my f-ing finger?
With a frozen chicken.
Is this avine retribution for all the feathered lives I've snuffed? Seriously, that one mockingbird was NOT my fault, he flew right into my car and exploded. It was birdicide and it was disgusting.
I'd also like you to know that while I do love the occassional bird watching excursion, I have a serious aversion to pigeons and large birds. Contrary to science, geese are birds of prey and they're bastards who should only be near people when they're on the dinner table. Same goes for those flying rats.
Birds are Majestic and beautiful sure, but those little claws could rip your eyeballs to shreds, and their beaks could peck out your intestines and then they'd do the tail feather twitch on your pitiful corpse for the final insult.
Alouette: I will je te plumerai la tete. Don't mess with me.
Anyway, I now have a bruise under my fingernail the bird nightmare has reared its ugly head. and I'm in need of some comfort food such as english muffin bread.
Just so happens I have a recipe...
Makes 1 loaf (heh heh heh loaf.)
INGREDIENTS
2 3/4 - 3 cups bread flour
1 packet of yeast (I think it's 1 tbspn + 1 tsp?)
1/2 TBspn sugar
1 tsp salt
1/8 tsp soda
1 cup milk
1/4 c Water
1 Tbspn cornmeal
Proof
1. Preheat your oven to 115F when it reaches temp, shut the oven off
2. Heat 1 cup milk and 1/4 cup water until very warm (about 110-120F)
3. Stir 1/2 Tbspn sugar and yeast into the warm liquids until the yeast is dissolved (or mostly)
4. set aside (eventually the liquid will look all scummy or frothy- this is the yeast poop*, it's good)
Sift Dry
1. sift or combine 2 cups flour, 1 tsp salt, 1/8 tsp soda
2. set aside
The Greasy Gritty Rubdown
1. grease your bread loaf pan
2. coat the inside of your pan with cornmeal
3. set aside
Mix and let rise
1. Pour all the liquid into your sifted dry ingredients and stir around until you have a stiff batter
2. Dump the batter into your bread pan
3. Let it rise in a warm place such as your 115F oven for 60 minutes or until double in size. Keep in mind however high it is when you put it into the oven to bake is how high it will stay.
Bake
1. After rise take bread out of oven and set aside
2. preheat oven to 400F
3. Bake for about 25 minutes or until the top is golden. Remove bread from pan immediately and cool on a rack.
4. Enjoy :)
*yeast poop or yeast exhalations... can't remember which and poo is a less palatable idea so there you are
So's you know: I routinely injure myself in small ways, knife nicks, hot fat burns, gum stuck in my hair... it happens. There are few injuries that send my temper through the roof like a smash of the finger or a stub of the toe (which is really the same thing now that I think about it). AND I'm not allowed to yell or be loud in the kitchen ever since someone let off a huge fart in there and we realized you could hear it clear as day on the porch. The mister doesn't want anyone thinking he's some creepy abuser of the ladies. Whatevs, as if he could take me. I'd moid-e-lize him, I'd bite his kneecaps, I'd poke him in the bellybutton, I'd... I'd... probably throw a handful of sand in his face and run like hell.
I'm wee you see.
How did I smash my f-ing finger?
With a frozen chicken.
Is this avine retribution for all the feathered lives I've snuffed? Seriously, that one mockingbird was NOT my fault, he flew right into my car and exploded. It was birdicide and it was disgusting.
I'd also like you to know that while I do love the occassional bird watching excursion, I have a serious aversion to pigeons and large birds. Contrary to science, geese are birds of prey and they're bastards who should only be near people when they're on the dinner table. Same goes for those flying rats.
Birds are Majestic and beautiful sure, but those little claws could rip your eyeballs to shreds, and their beaks could peck out your intestines and then they'd do the tail feather twitch on your pitiful corpse for the final insult.
Alouette: I will je te plumerai la tete. Don't mess with me.
Anyway, I now have a bruise under my fingernail the bird nightmare has reared its ugly head. and I'm in need of some comfort food such as english muffin bread.
Just so happens I have a recipe...
Makes 1 loaf (heh heh heh loaf.)
INGREDIENTS
2 3/4 - 3 cups bread flour
1 packet of yeast (I think it's 1 tbspn + 1 tsp?)
1/2 TBspn sugar
1 tsp salt
1/8 tsp soda
1 cup milk
1/4 c Water
1 Tbspn cornmeal
Proof
1. Preheat your oven to 115F when it reaches temp, shut the oven off
2. Heat 1 cup milk and 1/4 cup water until very warm (about 110-120F)
3. Stir 1/2 Tbspn sugar and yeast into the warm liquids until the yeast is dissolved (or mostly)
4. set aside (eventually the liquid will look all scummy or frothy- this is the yeast poop*, it's good)
Sift Dry
1. sift or combine 2 cups flour, 1 tsp salt, 1/8 tsp soda
2. set aside
The Greasy Gritty Rubdown
1. grease your bread loaf pan
2. coat the inside of your pan with cornmeal
3. set aside
Mix and let rise
1. Pour all the liquid into your sifted dry ingredients and stir around until you have a stiff batter
2. Dump the batter into your bread pan
3. Let it rise in a warm place such as your 115F oven for 60 minutes or until double in size. Keep in mind however high it is when you put it into the oven to bake is how high it will stay.
Bake
1. After rise take bread out of oven and set aside
2. preheat oven to 400F
3. Bake for about 25 minutes or until the top is golden. Remove bread from pan immediately and cool on a rack.
4. Enjoy :)
*yeast poop or yeast exhalations... can't remember which and poo is a less palatable idea so there you are
28 January, 2010
Bad Tempeh-rament and Popovers
Inedible.
Many of us have had those nights/days when the decision to try something new blows up in the face. Last night was one for me. I can stomach a lot of bad stuff, and I'm open to new tastes and textures. When my little container of Chocolate pudding unexpectedly turned green on the bottom... I thought 'It doesn't smell bad. What the hell, I'll give it a shot.' and I suffered the consequences.
This was seriously horrid.
I've never cooked tempeh before but I figured I'd try. I've eaten it before and it was good. It's a fermented soybean product kind of like a veggie burger. I'm not sure if it's the brand I bought or if it is my poor technique or just a combo of both but holy shit was it disgusting. In conclusion: It was mushy/grainy in texture with unexpected large bean lumps, it had a bite that wasn't quite a bean and wasn't quite like the tempeh I've had before AND the bitter, almost chemical taste did not boil out so it overpowered the sauce I'd made (which wasn't bad). -Many online tips as well as a few cookbooks I took a look at advised boiling tempeh for 10 minutes to help remove the bitter taste then chill it, cut it and cook it.
Yeah, boiling didn't do a damn thing.
The Mister also hated it and not even ketchup could save it for him. Ketchup is the pinnacle of condiments for him. Puts it on everything except tater tots*. Heretic. (Second place is bbq sauce.)
In any case I may try it again in the future but for now all temeph experiments will be placed on hold and I'll stick to tofu and I may try seitan. WOO! SA-TAN!
I hate it when I transpose numbers and call some random person. Have you ever had a long conversation with someone you don't know on the phone? This happens to me every once in a while (like every 5 years). I called the wrong number, an older man voice answered, I apologized for the mistake, he was gracious and then proceeded with small talk which progressed to talk of how his business was failing but he's ok with it cause it's time to retire anyway. Good Luck Mystery Gent! Made me remember that I like talking to people. Well, I don't like talking much, I weird people out and I'm not very good with the spoken word, but I like to listen to people. I forget how to talk to people most of the time because I get so out of practice. Part of me is of the opinion that one really doesn't need to talk much in life. It's a superfluous exercise in ego.
Exactly like this blog.
Let's seeeee a recipe for something, ummmmmmmm how about.....
Popovers
Ingredients
1 cup flour
1 cup milk
3 eggs
1/4 tsp salt
2 tbspn melted butter (for greasing pan)
1.Sacrifice to steam fairies.
2. Place small oven proof container with water in it into your oven
3. Grease your muffin tin or popover tin VERY WELL with the melted butter
4. Whisk together milk and eggs, whisk in flour and salt to make a thin batter
5. Pour muffin cups 1/2 full
6. Place pan into cold oven
7. Turn heat to 350
8. Bake until puffy and golden brown (about 35 mins? I can't remember off top of my head)
9. When you take 'em out of the oven poke holes in the top to let steam escape and this will help to prevent collapsed popovers
* Don't knock the tots. They're wonderful and a cult icon. Tater Tots is also a euphemism for certain anatomical features and this makes me giggle. I approve.
Many of us have had those nights/days when the decision to try something new blows up in the face. Last night was one for me. I can stomach a lot of bad stuff, and I'm open to new tastes and textures. When my little container of Chocolate pudding unexpectedly turned green on the bottom... I thought 'It doesn't smell bad. What the hell, I'll give it a shot.' and I suffered the consequences.
This was seriously horrid.
I've never cooked tempeh before but I figured I'd try. I've eaten it before and it was good. It's a fermented soybean product kind of like a veggie burger. I'm not sure if it's the brand I bought or if it is my poor technique or just a combo of both but holy shit was it disgusting. In conclusion: It was mushy/grainy in texture with unexpected large bean lumps, it had a bite that wasn't quite a bean and wasn't quite like the tempeh I've had before AND the bitter, almost chemical taste did not boil out so it overpowered the sauce I'd made (which wasn't bad). -Many online tips as well as a few cookbooks I took a look at advised boiling tempeh for 10 minutes to help remove the bitter taste then chill it, cut it and cook it.
Yeah, boiling didn't do a damn thing.
The Mister also hated it and not even ketchup could save it for him. Ketchup is the pinnacle of condiments for him. Puts it on everything except tater tots*. Heretic. (Second place is bbq sauce.)
In any case I may try it again in the future but for now all temeph experiments will be placed on hold and I'll stick to tofu and I may try seitan. WOO! SA-TAN!
I hate it when I transpose numbers and call some random person. Have you ever had a long conversation with someone you don't know on the phone? This happens to me every once in a while (like every 5 years). I called the wrong number, an older man voice answered, I apologized for the mistake, he was gracious and then proceeded with small talk which progressed to talk of how his business was failing but he's ok with it cause it's time to retire anyway. Good Luck Mystery Gent! Made me remember that I like talking to people. Well, I don't like talking much, I weird people out and I'm not very good with the spoken word, but I like to listen to people. I forget how to talk to people most of the time because I get so out of practice. Part of me is of the opinion that one really doesn't need to talk much in life. It's a superfluous exercise in ego.
Exactly like this blog.
Let's seeeee a recipe for something, ummmmmmmm how about.....
Popovers
Ingredients
1 cup flour
1 cup milk
3 eggs
1/4 tsp salt
2 tbspn melted butter (for greasing pan)
1.Sacrifice to steam fairies.
2. Place small oven proof container with water in it into your oven
3. Grease your muffin tin or popover tin VERY WELL with the melted butter
4. Whisk together milk and eggs, whisk in flour and salt to make a thin batter
5. Pour muffin cups 1/2 full
6. Place pan into cold oven
7. Turn heat to 350
8. Bake until puffy and golden brown (about 35 mins? I can't remember off top of my head)
9. When you take 'em out of the oven poke holes in the top to let steam escape and this will help to prevent collapsed popovers
* Don't knock the tots. They're wonderful and a cult icon. Tater Tots is also a euphemism for certain anatomical features and this makes me giggle. I approve.
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