English Muffin Bread

I smashed my f-ing finger.

So's you know: I routinely injure myself in small ways, knife nicks, hot fat burns, gum stuck in my hair... it happens. There are few injuries that send my temper through the roof like a smash of the finger or a stub of the toe (which is really the same thing now that I think about it). AND I'm not allowed to yell or be loud in the kitchen ever since someone let off a huge fart in there and we realized you could hear it clear as day on the porch. The mister doesn't want anyone thinking he's some creepy abuser of the ladies. Whatevs, as if he could take me. I'd moid-e-lize him, I'd bite his kneecaps, I'd poke him in the bellybutton, I'd... I'd... probably throw a handful of sand in his face and run like hell.
I'm wee you see.

How did I smash my f-ing finger?

With a frozen chicken.
Is this avine retribution for all the feathered lives I've snuffed? Seriously, that one mockingbird was NOT my fault, he flew right into my car and exploded. It was birdicide and it was disgusting.

I'd also like you to know that while I do love the occassional bird watching excursion, I have a serious aversion to pigeons and large birds. Contrary to science, geese are birds of prey and they're bastards who should only be near people when they're on the dinner table. Same goes for those flying rats.
Birds are Majestic and beautiful sure, but those little claws could rip your eyeballs to shreds, and their beaks could peck out your intestines and then they'd do the tail feather twitch on your pitiful corpse for the final insult.

Alouette: I will je te plumerai la tete. Don't mess with me.

Anyway, I now have a bruise under my fingernail the bird nightmare has reared its ugly head. and I'm in need of some comfort food such as english muffin bread.

Just so happens I have a recipe...

Makes 1 loaf (heh heh heh loaf.)

INGREDIENTS
2 3/4 - 3 cups bread flour
1 packet of yeast (I think it's 1 tbspn + 1 tsp?)
1/2 TBspn sugar
1 tsp salt
1/8 tsp soda
1 cup milk
1/4 c Water
1 Tbspn cornmeal

Proof
1. Preheat your oven to 115F when it reaches temp, shut the oven off
2. Heat 1 cup milk and 1/4 cup water until very warm (about 110-120F)
3. Stir 1/2 Tbspn sugar and yeast into the warm liquids until the yeast is dissolved (or mostly)
4. set aside (eventually the liquid will look all scummy or frothy- this is the yeast poop*, it's good)

Sift Dry
1. sift or combine 2 cups flour, 1 tsp salt, 1/8 tsp soda
2. set aside

The Greasy Gritty Rubdown
1. grease your bread loaf pan
2. coat the inside of your pan with cornmeal
3. set aside

Mix and let rise
1. Pour all the liquid into your sifted dry ingredients and stir around until you have a stiff batter
2. Dump the batter into your bread pan
3. Let it rise in a warm place such as your 115F oven for 60 minutes or until double in size. Keep in mind however high it is when you put it into the oven to bake is how high it will stay.

Bake
1. After rise take bread out of oven and set aside
2. preheat oven to 400F
3. Bake for about 25 minutes or until the top is golden. Remove bread from pan immediately and cool on a rack.
4. Enjoy :)


*yeast poop or yeast exhalations... can't remember which and poo is a less palatable idea so there you are